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Gossip, confusion, misunderstanding and third party knowledge gets very confusing.

When you talk to someone directly, it clears things up in a hurry.

When you first meet someone online, not always are they telling the truth. But really, do you blame them? I don't think we can. I for one have not ALWAYS been totally honest all of the time. And who says that when you meet someone online that you will become fast friends and talk together forever ( so to speak). So it's easy and really almost expected that people online are not always who they say they are. Sometimes, people do it for many reasons. Again, I am the last person to point fingers...

I have learned many lessons here and other places, but the one lesson I have learned is that when you ask for the truth, usually you can get it. We don't always get hurt, but sometimes we do. But when the person on the other end can take responsibility for hurting us, intentional or unintentional, thats when healing can begin.

I made a big mistake, actually several big mistakes. And now it is my responsibility to appologize to the ones that I have hurt.

Travis, I am sorry for all the things I have done in 5+yrs to cause you pain, anger, distress, and upset. I tell you all the time that I love you, yet, I do not always show this. And since actions speak louder then words, I will from now on endeavor to show you that I care. That you are my friend, and that you matter to me. I appologize.

Shy, I also appologize to you. Rude things were said and done to embarass you and anger you publicly. That is not how I would want my little girl to act. And so it's time to own up to the things I have done to you that have caused you pain, embarassment and uncomfort. I hope someday that you and I can talk, and maybe repair some of the damage that was done. You were a good friend to me, and I have missed that for a long time now. Petty Jealousy and ignorance has clouded my thoughts and I have used that as an excuse to make it right that I act so self rightous. I appologize.

 

 

as for anyone else reading this, and now scoffing and thinking "omg, what an idiot, what a meat puppet" and all the other things you love to call me/us/them...

it doesn't matter that you say this.. I didnt do this for you....

I did it for myself, and because it is the right thing to do.

 

So, it's been three weeks. I guess this time you really aren't coming back. I hope I'm not making the wrong decision here. But I need to let go. I can't come back everyday with hope in my heart for something that just isn't going to be. Hard enough to have kept the faith for the last year, never mind the last 3 weeks. I guess it's time to move on, and take with me the memories of who you were to me.  I will take what I have, and smile because it happened (thank ShyB for that quote) and just..... carry on. I can't really keep the heartache going. And I guess rightly so, as it's been over a year for me anyhow.

I promise to always miss you,

I promise to always kiss the baby for you

I promise to always keep it warm lol

and I promise that I will never forget you.

 

I hope that wherever you are, you finally found the happiness I always wished for you. Take care my friend. You are missed.

 

So I guess all that's left is to say

Good bye.

 

 

Goodbye ~ Miley Cyrus

I can honestly say,
You've been on my mind since I woke up today
I look at your photograph all the time
These memories come back to life
And I don't mind

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playin'
I remember the simple things
I remember till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I want to forget
Is goodbye

I woke up this morning and played our song
And through my tears I sang along
I picked up the phone and then put it down
cause I know I'm wasting my time
And I don't mind

I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
I remember the simple things
I remember till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget

Suddenly my cell phone's blowing up with your ringtone
I hesitate but answer it any way
You sound so alone
I'm surprised to hear you say

You remember when we kissed
You still feel it on your lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing

You remember the simple things
We talked till we cried
You said that your biggest regret
The one thing I wish I'd forget
Is saying goodbye

Saying goodbye
Ooh
Goodbye
 
 
Final Goodbye ~ Rhianna


[Verse 1]
I never should of waited so long to say
What I've always known since the very first day
Thought that you would stay forever with me
But the time has come to leave

[Chorus]
Before we turn out the lights and close our eyes
I'll tell you a secret I've held all my life
Its you that I live for, and for you I die
So I'll Lay here with you 'til the final goodbye

[Verse 2]
Hold, draw me close, close to my lips
Listen intently as I tell you this
Outside the world wages its wars,
I'll rest in peace as long as you know

[Chorus]
Before we turn out the lights and close our eyes
I'll tell you a secret I've held all my life
Its you that I live for, and for you I die
So I'll Lay here with you 'til the final goodbye

[Bridge]
Promise you our love will carry on
Until you turn eternal, we belong

[Chorus:]
Before we turn out the lights and close our eyes
I'll tell you a secret I've held all my life
It's you that I live for, and for you I die
So I'll lay here with you till the final goodbye

His respectful lips for the last time
And spell out the lyrics to love in the sky
Its you that I live for and for you I die
So I'll lay here with you till the final goodbye

Goodbye
 

Broken: Amy Lee & Seether
 
 
Seether:
I wanted you to know that
I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away...
I keep your photograph and
I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Cause im broken when im lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You gone away, you don't feel me here, anymore

Amy Lee:
The worst is over now
And we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn
And no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away...

Cause I'm Broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone...
You gone away, you don't feel me here anymore
 
 
 
Jessica Folker
How will I know

I don´t know how or where to start
Here we´re standing again
And I see now from where we are
That our road has come to an end
Though we've come this far
I don´t know why
But I still can´t see who you are

Chorus:
I don´t want you to cry
Don´t want us to say goodbye
But I know that we´re falling apart
I don´t need your lies
And if you don´t sympathize
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/8Kz ]
Tell me how will I know who you are

It´s too late but now
we´ve gone this far
To see what´s here within
Though we said that we´d never part
Baby I've been trying too hard
To believe in love
I don´t know why
But I still can´t see who you are

Chorus:

Don´t worry I promise
it´s for the better
So I think we should let it go now
And maybe we'll find love again

 
Answer : Sarah McLachlan
 
I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind

 

sometimes I feel sad thinking about the way things used to be

i had lots of friends, and some really good close friends... now it's not like that..

made some choices that maybe werent the best.. but seemed like it at the time..

now when I see some of my old friends, I am confused at the things they talk about... and I cant join in... its almost like looking into a party from the window, standing on the ledge outside looking in...

But things arent the same there either... i feel like theres lotsa ... upset n sadness... seems lonley and not as fun or happy or anything...

things change i get that...

sometimes i feel guilty that maybe what i did... caused all the things that happened after.... its not like i can ask if thats true...

sometimes... alot of times i wish things would go back to exactly the way they were 4 years ago... 4 years ago things were great... 2.5 years ago things were perfect...

nothing is great or perfect anymore.. it all kinda just sux...

sometimes when i see my old friends... i feel more sad then when i just missed them...

sometimes... i think it be easier to go to another game site... and i tried that.. .but it wasnt the same .. i always still thot of them, and always just wondered what was happening

 

it was nice.. when i think back ... to another time when i had two friends i used to talk to all day long all the time .. msn....laughing... secret telling.... surfing... playing.. .having a good time... not so much now... im an outsider.. .and i wanted it that way.... but like i said all the things after? .... not so much what i hoped...

sometimes i wish i had never gotten a computer.......

 

 

if anyone out there has found the secret to time machine.... let me know... i only have pocket lint and buttons to offer.....

 

It's not easy at 2 am... I hear her cry and think "ughhhhhhh find your soother n go back to sleep im so tired"
and then I hear her cry "mummmmmmy... mummmmmmmmmmmy!!!"
and I pull my sleep mask off.... squint at the clock n see its a lil after 2AM n groan... shuffle outta bed n go to her door... open it n say "shhh shhh... come to mummy... come..." n hear little feet crawl down the bed.. hear little sniffles n whimpers in the pitch black... n finally there she is in my arms with a hug, little tears on her cheeks, and a hand twisted in my hair already.. so close together we are almost one person again... and in the dark.. I hear the whisper...." I lub you mummy..." *sniffle sniffle* and a kiss n sigh... n she is back to sleep almost on my hip as we crawl into bed n snuggle.....
sometimes she can't go back to sleep but most times she will...
and even tho it takes me a while to sleep again.. I listen to the little snores and contented sighs... and little 'sook sook sook sook' sound on n off of her soother... lol.. I sleep on n off, as little feet poke thru my ribs reminding me what it was like only so long ago but from the inside... and when I finally give up I leave her sleepin in my bed with my blanket and pillow... and with warm sleep drool all over my arm that is dead asleep from being under her 30lb body for 4 hours without moving....
it makes me appreciate what I have... when I could have nothing and even tho I am tired the next day... I look into those big blue eyes and see happiness... and think... "you're worth never sleeping properly ever again".....




 

We live in a world where reality
Depresses all emotions that live inside of me
Life can be so cruel but you make it easier
You picked me up when I was down
And now my feet's on solid ground

[B-SECTION:]
You can never tell someone too much
that you love them
You can never know when you go
That's why you tell them baby
You tell him that you love him

[HOOK:]
Baby how much can I tell you
That I love love love you
Baby how much can I tell you
That I love love love you

[VERSE 2:]
After all that we'd been through
I never thought I found someone who'd
Make me feel so good
I thank God for blessing me
For the opportunity
To be around someone like you
If everyone was like you
The world would be a better place yea

[B-SECTION:]
You can never tell someone too much
that you love them
You can never know when you go
That's why you tell them baby
You tell him that you love him

[HOOK:]
Baby how much can I tell you
That I love love love you
Baby how much can I tell you
That I love love love you

[BRIDGE:]
Baby we need to be strong
We'll keep love alive,
that's why I sing this song
For you
I'm gonna tell the world
I love you
 

Remembering this day, my darling Emily♥ who would have given breath to a new soul sometime this week. Instead was born asleep Christmas day 2007. Thinking of you lots this day, and missing you much everyday...

also too then of course thinking of your brother Adam♥ born asleep May 24 2006. Who would have given breath to new soul on December 17th 2006.

 

Your sister, Natalia ♥♥♥ and I and Daddy love you very much, and tho you are not here in flesh, you are always on my mind and in my heart.

 

 

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world,
which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. 
I miss you like hell.  ~Edna St Vincent Millay

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.  ~Lamartine

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you,
I could walk forever in my garden.  ~Claudia Ghandi

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. 
~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

 

I think about you constantly, whether it's with my mind or my heart.  ~Albany Bach Reid

I am tired, Beloved,
of chafing my heart against
the want of you;
of squeezing it into little inkdrops,
And posting it.
~Amy Lowell, "The Letter"

I dropped a tear in the ocean. 
The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you.  ~Author Unknown

Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure,
if I knew you were missing me too.  ~Author Unknown

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. 
If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night. 
~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~      ~♥~♥~♥~      ~♥~
 

 

love or money

beauty or health

wealth or fame

 

and if you could choose ONE only which one?? perfect love? unending wealth? everlasting fame? perfect health?

 

if you had to choose between ethics and friends what would you do?

 

if you had to choose between originality and hate OR love and following the crowd?

 

if you had to be another skin colour for one day how would you feel?

if you had to give up all your money for one week on the streets how would you survive?

if you had to be someone you're not to gain the love of family... could you?

 

 

tell me.....

 

 

went on the walking tour of old strathcona, learned alot of history and took many pix, uploaded the 6 most interesting... enjoy.