LOL my horoscope today said that my true love is right around the corner and to keep an eye out for him. It said his name is MARK, he is a blue eyed Brown haired Picses....

well so lemme know if you know him.. lol

all except the pisces, i'd know who they were talking bout... LOL

Pisces: Feb 19 - March 20 ....... loll ( a few days off darnit )

ok thot you might get a laugh outta that... those who know me...

xx

 

Well, I proclaim it a success. And at first I wasn't sure. But the proof is in the pictures.
We 4 sat around a mat with our flowers n candles. With Zena at the head of the mat.
We held a quartz crystal n told our story. I choked out what I could... and by the end of it.. I was healed. I no longer feel the need to cry, be sad, think sad.. I am finally at peace, and feel I can move on for the first time in a long time..

here is portion of the ceremony

Flowers on the alter, and light the candles.
song:
I give away this blood of life to all my relations, I open my womb to the light. 2x
give away give away give away give away, I open my womb to the light 2x

Poem:
It was there in your womb - a baby
You may have wanted it and waited for it with deep longing
Or it may have been a surprise, even a shock to know that
you were 'with child' and were not ready for it.
It was there in your womb
It made a huge impact on your life
Yet, you never saw it
you only felt so many emotions
Then before life was to mature, and be born
A sudden death drained your womb.
Abortion by your choice, or
miscarriage by divine choice
your womb had felt and known the whisper of life
and now was empty.

healing the womb and the heart:
*hand on womb*
We call on Divine Mother, who gives birth to all creation, to heal womans wombs and wounds 3x
*hand on heart*
We call on Divine Mother, who gives love to all creation, to heal womans hearts 3x

chant: Om Tare tutare ture soha 9x

Prayer:
Om Divine Mother Tara, Mother Mary, and all divine Mothers, Please help us to cross the ocean of existance, blessing our wombs and the babies who have kissed our wombs, we ask you to bless their souls as they travel forward on their journey and we thank them for honouring us with theur presence for a short while. 3x

acknowledging:
(time to reflect quietly.. alone and then share your story)

Draining the womb and cleansing:
We ask Mother Earth to accept our pain as we drain our wombs. We ask Mother Earth to transform it into compost and wisdom to help future generations honour women and our wombs, to help future generations honour Mother Earth in all ways.

*lie on your tummy and reflect, peace, feel Mother Earth healing , cleansing, Draining you* *send Mother Earth thankfulness, peace, and love, giving her your thanks and respect*

Give away dance:

join hands circle clockwise:
singing the opening song: 3x
give away - hands at womb
give away - hand at Earth
2x
We open our wombs - hand on womb
to the light - hands to heavens.
2x

Hug all n thank them for sharing and go in peace.

 

I'm telling you I havent felt this much peace in my life in a LONG time. Finally ready to move on in so many areas. To live love and laugh again. And to make joy and spread joy and peace where I can. If you have a yoga centre near by you, I fully recommend you go, the healing powers of Yoga.. cannot be denied.

 

~And thank you to all my friends here for all your support these last few months.. ♥♥♥~

 

I WISH...

1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby. The truth is just because you never saw my baby doesn't mean he or she doesn't deserve your recognition.

2. I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn't think it was because you have hurt me by mentioning my baby. The truth is I need to cry and talk about my baby with you. Crying and emotional outbursts help me heal.

3. I wish that you could talk about my baby more than once. The truth is if you do, it reassures me that you haven't forgotten and that you do care and understand.

4. I wish you wouldn't think that I don't want to talk about my baby. The truth is I love my baby and need to talk about him or her.

5. I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby has died and that you are thinking of me. The truth is that it tells me you care.

6. I wish you wouldn't think what has happened is one big bad memory for me. The truth is the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my baby, the dreams I had and the memories I have created for my baby are all loving memories. Yes there are bad memories too but please understand that it's not all like that.

7. I wish you wouldn't pretend that my baby never existed. The truth is we both know I had a baby growing inside me.

8. I wish you wouldn't judge me because I am not acting the way you think I should be. The truth is grief is a very personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things differently.

9. I wish you wouldn't think if I have a good day I'm "over it" or if I have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I should be over it. The truth is there is no "normal" way for me to act.

10. I wish you wouldn't stay away from me. The truth is losing my baby doesn't mean I'm contagious. By staying away you make me feel isolated, confused and like it is my fault.

11. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be "over and done with" in a few weeks, months, or years for that matter. The truth is it may get easier with time but I will never be "over" this.

12. I wish you wouldn't think that my baby wasn't really a baby and it was blood and tissue or a fetus. The truth is my baby was a human life. My baby had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and a face. My baby was a real person.

13. My baby's due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my baby died and the day I lost my baby are all important and sad days for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter you are thinking of me on these days.

14. I wish you understood that losing my baby has changed me. The truth is I am not the same person I was before and will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back to "normal" you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values. Please try to get to know the real me-maybe you'll still like me.

15. I wish you wouldn't tell me I could have another baby. The truth is I want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace this baby. Babies aren't interchangeable. Besides, you do not know whether we have fertility problems or not.

16. I wish you wouldn't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about my baby or being near me. When you do, I can see it. The truth is it's not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are.

17. I wish you wouldn't think that you'll keep away because all my friends and family will be there for me. The truth is, everyone thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.

18. I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is sometimes uncomfortable for me. Some days I'll be jealous and others it will give me hope.

19. I wish you wouldn't say that it's natures way of telling me something was wrong with my baby, or that losing my baby is in any way some sort of blessing. The truth is my baby was perfect to me no matter what you think nature is saying, and in no way is losing a loved one (no matter their age) ever a blessing.

20. I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you say "next time things will be okay". The truth is how do you know? What will you say if it happens to me again?
 

Tiny Angel

Tiny Angel rest your wings,
sit with me for awhile.
How I long to hold your hand,
and see your tender smile.
Tiny Angel, look at me,
I want this image clear....
That I will forget your precious face,
is my biggest fear.
Tiny Angel can you tell me,
Why you have gone away?
You weren't here for very long....
Why is it, you couldn't stay?
Tiny Angel shook his head,
"These things I do not know....
But I do know that you love me,
And that I love you so".

Author Unknown

 

They say memories are golden,
well, maybe that is true;
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried;
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still;
In my heart you hold a place
No one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway,
And heartache make a lane;
I'd walk the path to heaven,
And bring you back again.

~ Author unkown ~
 
 
 
Daddy, please don't look so sad,
Mama please don't cry~
"Cause I am in the arms of Jesus
and He sings me lullabies."
Please, try not to question God,
Don't think he is unkind
Don't think He sent me to you,
and then He changed his mind.
You see, I am a special child,
and I'm needed up above
I'm the special gift you gave Him,
the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you
and watch the sky at night,
Find the brightest star that's gleaming,
That's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost,
that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers,
I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze,
from a gentle wind that blows
That's me, I'll be there,
planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing,
and your heart feels a little tug,
That's me, I'll be there,
giving your heart a hug.
So Daddy, please don't look so sad,
Mama don't your cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus
and He sings me lullabies.

Author~Claudette T. Allen

 

 

Emily♥    born asleep December 25th 2007

Adam♥    born asleep May24th 2006

 

 

When someone is harassing you, here is how to take a screen shot of PMs so you can send it into ADMIN

 

1) make sure you can see what was said by the person to you that was harassing

2) press the CNTRL key and the PRINT SCRN key together one time

3) go to START in the lower left corner of your computer, click ACCESSORIES and then click PAINT

4) when the PAINT program has opened on the top left is EDIT

5) scroll and click PASTE

6) your picture you just took will appear and you can save under FILE and send in to ADMIN

make sure the nic that is harrassing you is visiable in picture and what they said, also the date and time and room you were in

:)

 

Heart accelerate

you are my barbituate

we collaberate

no need to debate

or elaborate

you are my fate

you generate

a cure for my hate

no longer does it irritate

now i jubilate

( i really do.. ask Kate)

a little to late

to be my mate

but this we can negotiate

as long as youre not too obstinate

you make my heart palpitate

and i must eQuate

and remunerate

while i salivate

and titilate

and undulate

and validate

and *sigh* sometimes wait

*x-asperate*......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Its been a long time

Its been a long while

We've not been together

Seen eachother smile

 

You make me happy

You make me blush

Alot of the time

You make my blood rush

 

We're together in secret

Not many know

all the things you whisper

to make my heart glow

 

you make me feel perfect

tho i know i am not

you push with all your heart

to show me all ive got

 

when i think of you

a secret thot

my face turns pink

my face turns hot...

 

i wish i could tell all

how i feel about you

i wish i could

and i know you do too

 

but for now we cant

but it changes nothing

that in our hearts

eachother is something

 

I was lost and sad

Alone and confused

Reaching out in the darkness

Feeling abused

 

A light at the end

gave me great hope

and along the blackness

I began to grope

 

Fighting my fear

Fighting my pain

Wanting desperately

to be whole again

 

So thru the horror

into the light

I began my struggle

I started to fight

 

At the end a reward

Something so true

when I got to the end

I found ... you.

 

 

 

In the brightest hour
Of my darkest day
I realized
What is wrong with me

Can't get over you
Can't get through to you
It's been a helter-skelter, romance from the start

Take these memories
That are haunting me
Of a paper man cut into shreds
By his own pair of scissors
He'll never forgive her...
He'll never forgive her...

[CHORUS]
Because days! Come and go!
But my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever

Sitting by a fire
On a lonely night
Hanging over from another good time
With another girl...
Little dirty girl
You should listen to this story of her life

You're my heroine-
In this moment I'm lonely
fullfilling my darkest dreams
All these drugs, all these women
I'm never forgiving...
this broken heart of mine

[CHORUS]
Because days! Come and go!
But my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever


One last kiss...
Before I go...
Dry your tears...
It is time to let you go...


One last chance(One last chance)
Before I go(Before I go)
Dry your tears(Dry your tears)
It is time to let you go...


Because days! Come and go!
But my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever


One last kiss(One last kiss)
Before I go(Before I go)
Dry your tears(Dry your tears)
It is time to let you go...


One last Kiss...
Before I go...
Dry your tears...
It is time to let you go...

One Last Kiss. 

 

 

FOREVER ~ PAPA ROACH

 

Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all

Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart

Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even when you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

 

WHY ~ AVRIL LAVIGNE

 

 looked away
then I look back at you,
You try to say
the things that you can't undo,
If I had my way
I'd never get over you,
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through.

Make it through the fall,
Make it through it all.

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you.

You're the only one
I'd be with till the end.
When I come undone
you bring me back again.
Back under the stars,
Back into your arms.

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you.

Wanna know who you are,
Wanna know where to start,
I wanna know what this means.

Wanna know how you feel,
Wanna know what is real.
I wanna know everything... Everything.

I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it.

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
and I don't wanna talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you,
'Cause I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you,
I'm in love with you.

 

FALL TO PIECES ~ AVRIL LAVIGNE