Happy Easter everyone. LIVE well, LAUGH often, LOVE much
I'll be looking for my Easter gifts
EASTER
Warning! This post contains Eggs!
Joe was feeling rotten..he was losing weight rapidly despite eating his normal diet.
His wife cajoled him to go to the Doctor.
With trepidation,and fearing the worst, he attended an appointment on the Tuesday morning.
The Doctor prodded and poked.
"Tell me the worst Doc, It's Cancer or Ebola, or both?" said Joe.
"Joe, I think it's just a worm"
"Here's what I want you to do"
"Go home and take a peeled hard boiled egg and insert it into your bum"
"Ten minutes later (ten minutes exactly) insert a Mars Bar into your bum"
"Repeat this the following day and come back here with a hard boiled egg on Friday morning...ok?"
Joe thought that the Doc had lost his marbles but agreed to do as he said.
Joe arrived at the surgery on Friday,a hard boiled egg in his hand.
"Ok Joe onto the bed, trousers down and bum in the air" said the Doc.
The Doctor eased the egg into Joe's bum and waited.
Ten minutes elapsed and suddenly a huge worm showed it's ugly face out of Joe's bum..."Where's my Mars Bar?" it screamed
The Doctor picked up a baseball bat and promptly dispatched the worm with a mighty 'Thwakkkkkkkkk'
"Ok Joe, go home and start regaining some of that lost weight"
Who needs expensive drugs when we have Eggs and Mars Bars....Oh and a baseball bat?
Happy Easter everyone.:)
Holy Week
Have a Peaceful and Blessed Holy Week Everyone
Money
Say you don't need no diamond rings
And I'll be satisfied
Tell me that you want the kind of things
That money just can't buy
I don't care too much for money
Money can't buy me love!!!
Literal
It turns out a major study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. Makes sense to me, I mean I've never eaten a monkey.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said "This isn't working". I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working just fine.
IS SO TRUE
We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.
A Chilly Holiday?
My wife had been bugging me for ages, wanting to go on holiday, but unable to decide where she wanted to go.
So, finally, I got a map of the world and pinned it to a wall in the kitchen.
I gave her one dart "Wherever the dart lands that's where we will go" I told her.
So, we spent two weeks behind the fridge......
I’m done
I'm done. I'm done trying to get her. I just can't do it anymore... To bad it took me so long to figure it out, to stop making fool of myself, to try to be for her whenever sheneeded me...
TRUE FRIENDS
I heard it said on tv tonight and it is still true ( A TRUE FRIEND IS HARD TO FIND, HARDER TO LEAVE AND IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET.) Truer words were never spoken. I had a good net friend about 2 decades ago. If it were not for his caring and understanding how messed up I was at the time, I would not be here today. I was on the verge of punching my own ticket, and he stepped into that dark place I was in and pulled me out into the light again. It has been a couple years sense he has been on the net and I still miss him. I fear the pandemic may have gotten him :( he had copd before it hit. I fear he may not have been strong enough to survive the virus if he got it.
I thought I found another friend a few years ago that would have been just as important in my life. * Shrugs guess I was wrong because the leaving was not as hard as I thought it would be. It seems that friend has forgotten me. I still have remnants of the relationship I THOUGHT we were building, but they grow thinner every day.'
Another saying goes some people come into your life for a reason, others for a season, and there are others that leave foot prints in your memory forever.
Irish Soda Bread
2 Eggs
1 Stick Butter
1 Cup of Sugar
2 Tsp Carraway Seeds
Mix in Mixer
Add 1 Cup milk- Mix
Add 3 cups Flour
Add 2 Tsp Baking Powder
Add 3 Cups Raisins Mix Until Blended
Pour into Greased & Floured Bundt Pan
Sprinkle With Sugar
Bake at 350 for 40 Minutes
Great next day toasted too