"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."
-- Manuel, age 8
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." -- Tom, age 5
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
-- Mike, 10
"My mother says to look for a man who is kind. That's what I'll do. I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome."
-- Carolyn, age 8
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -- Kenny, age 7
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills."
-- Ava, age 8
"When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life,
or at least until we have kids and get divorced.'" -- Anita, 9
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." -- Regina, age 10
"Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than once to find a live one." -- Angie, age 10
"[Being] single is better . . . for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married,
I'd figure something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing."
-- Kirsten, age 10
"Love is foolish...but I still might try it sometime." -- Floyd, age 9
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five,
but the girls keep finding me." -- Dave, age 8
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want
to have videos of the wedding." -- Jim, age 10
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you,
I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." -- Kally, age 9
"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." -- Curt, age 7
"The rules goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry her and have kids with her. It's the right thing to do."
-- Howard, age 8
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." -- Christine, age 9
"It isn't always how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything, and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet."
-- Brian, age 7
What Mom and Dad Have In Common:
"Both don't want no more kids." -- Lori, age 8
How To Tell If Two People Are Married:
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." -- Eddie, age 6
"You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." -- Derrick, age 8
Deciding Who To Marry:
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports,
and she should keep the chips and dip coming." -- Allan, age 10
"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to
find out later who you're stuck with." -- Kirsten, age 10
Strategies For Making People Fall In Love With You:
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." -- Del, age 6
"Shake your hips and hope for the best." -- Camille, age 9
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me."
-- Bart, age 9
The Best Age To Get Married:
"Twenty three is the best age because you know the person forever by then." -- Cam, age 10
"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married!" -- Freddie, age 6
Good Advice About Love:
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." -- Dick, age 7
"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." -- Lynnette, age 8
"Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love." -- Erin, age 8
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." -- Erin, age 8
What To Do When a First Date Turns Sour:
"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." -- Craig, age 9
Points needed: 786