LITTLE JOHNNY... THE BIRDS AND THE BEES
One day at the end of class, little Boudreaux's teacher tells the class to go home and think of a story, and then wanted them to come up with the moral of that story for class the next day.
The following morning, the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story and little Clotile raises her hand.
"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load da chicken eggs on da truck and drive into town to sell dem at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all da eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Clotile replies, "Don't keep all you eggs in one basket."
Next is little Marie. "Well my dad owns a farm too, and every weekend we take da chicken eggs and put dem in da incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."
The teacher asks for the moral of that story. Marie replies "Don't count your eggs before dey hatched."
Last is finally little Boudreaux's turn. "My Uncle Hebert fought in da Vietnam war. His plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed wit only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On da way down he drank da case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in da middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 wit his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed da last ten wit his bare hands him."
Teacher looks in shock at Boudreaux and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.
Boudreaux replies, "Mais yea teacher, don't ever mess wit my Uncle Hebert when he's been drinking!"
Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady came over and said. "Son, don't you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?"
"My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny.
"Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted.
"No," said Johnny, "but he minded his own freakin' business."