denverc

 
Relationship status: in a relationship
I want to play with: women
Looking for: friendship
Zodiac sign: libra
Birthday: 09-30
Joined: 2014-07-28
Wanted: Good Woman: Must Be Able To Clean, Cook, Sew, Dig Worms And Clean Fish. Must Have Boat And Motor. Please Send Pictures
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Points needed: 65
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joke for the day :D

2019-04-09       
A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."

would anybody miss me

2019-03-30       
https://youtu.be/u4XF4raNhS8?t=127

ARE BUGS GOOD TO EAT

2019-03-26       
n29.gif?v=122n17.gif?v=122n29.gif?v=122                           A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

nursing home

2019-03-21       
n17.gif?v=122    A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. The man asks, "Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?" The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." The man says, "And the Viagra?" "Keeps him from falling out of bed." 


LITTLE JOHNNY... THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

2019-03-19       

LITTLE JOHNNY... THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

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Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."

proud cajun nephew

2019-03-17       



One day at the end of class, little Boudreaux's teacher tells the class to go home and think of a story, and then wanted them to come up with the moral of that story for class the next day. 


The following morning, the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story and little Clotile raises her hand. 


"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load da chicken eggs on da truck and drive into town to sell dem at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all da eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." 


The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Clotile replies, "Don't keep all you eggs in one basket." 


Next is little Marie. "Well my dad owns a farm too, and every weekend we take da chicken eggs and put dem in da incubator.  Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."  


The teacher asks for the moral of that story. Marie replies "Don't count your eggs before dey hatched." 


Last is finally little Boudreaux's turn. "My Uncle Hebert fought in da Vietnam war. His plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed wit only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On da way down he drank da case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in da middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 wit his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed da last ten wit his bare hands him." 


Teacher looks in shock at Boudreaux and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story. 


Boudreaux replies, "Mais yea teacher, don't ever mess wit my Uncle Hebert when he's been drinking!" 

A LESSON IN GOVERNMENT

2019-03-10       

n17.gif?v=122         

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.

''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.

''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''

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making cops laugh

2019-02-23       
n17.gif?v=122n17.gif?v=122https://youtu.be/a77Dw3tNv8o?t=186

Little Johnny's Halloween

2019-02-19       

Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady came over and said. "Son, don't you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?"

"My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny.

"Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted.

"No," said Johnny, "but he minded his own freakin' business."

cajun smurf----joke of the day

2019-02-18       
https://youtu.be/PUNm2QvV96g?t=9

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