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     Charlie Daniels died today.  He will be missed.  I have loved his music for years.  The first song I ever heard of his was that first uneasy rider song, but I really did not know who sung it till after he recorded The Devil Went Down To Georgia.  
     I guess the good lord needs a little music too.


     I was sorting through some pictures and I saw one of my oldest nephew and his oldest son standing by my brother, sister-in-law and other nephews grave.  It made me cry, because my nephew looked so stunned.  In only 3 years he lost the whole family branch he was born into.  The anniversary of my brother's death is coming up next month. We buried him the day before his oldest son's birthday in Aug 2016. ( heck of a birthday right) Then about a month later in mid Sept. his mother died.   It was hard having 2 deaths in the same family branch that close together, but it did not come as a big surprise to us that she died soon after my brother. Just 2 days before she died she said she did not know how she would ever go on without my brother :( .  They said it was natural causes that killed her, but we think it was a broken heart. They had been together sense my brother was 18 years old.  They  raises 2 sons together, and finished raising my sister-in laws little sister when here parents died. 
   The sad part of this is after battling cancer 3 times and winning, their youngest son followed  them to the grave after his 4th battle with cancer in Sept. 2019 just a week or two before his own birthday.  I feel so sorry for my nephew.   No one should have to lose their whole birth family that closely together.  I just thank God he has his wife and children.  The children are all grown up now, but right now they are all living back home with him and his wife.   It would have been tenable if he had to deal with all that pain alone.  My nephew has always been very sensitive and to see him shutting down his emotions is kind of odd, but I guess we all deal with grief in our own ways.
     It is weird is it not how a single picture can bring back so much emotions.  Some times they are happy emotions, but sometimes they are very sad ones.
     I think I mentioned my nephew was a race car driver before.  He got rid of the race car, and is giving it up.  It is just not the same for him with his dad and his brother gone.  They used to do it as a family.  To tell the truth I think it is just too painful for him to even think about it.  Just a couple days before his brother died he wanted to go to the races , so they loaded him up and took him to the races that night.  My oldest nephew never raced again. Frankly I think that is a good idea.   Racing is dangerous, that is why my sister-in-law would not let my brother do it she was afraid for him. I was surprised when she let her son do it.   Part of me wonders if my nephew did it because he wanted to or if he did it to make his dad happy.  Could be that driving fast just runs in the family.  I rode home with my brothers youngest grandson one night and it was faster then I really wanted to get home lol but he drives well. There had been a little talk of letting him drive the race car, but I guess they changed their minds.
   Ty for you all letting me get some of these emotions out.


I was setting here thinking about something about a story my dad used to tell about me an a friend of his.  The way the story goes I used to ask him how his vitalities are, and he would say that he wished his was as good as mine.  I have no conscious memory of that but my dad told the story so many times when I was growing up that I can see it in my head.  The same thing goes for the morning my sister died. I was not even born yet, but I can see the events very clearly in my mind. My mom told that story many times too. My other sister said she thought mom did it so many times as a way of making Sally Ann real to my little brother and me, because we never met her. Mom would also talk about how strong Sally Ann was.  Mom said at only 3 weeks old she could sit up in the corner of a chair by herself.  Mom said after she died every time she saw a baby that was too strong too young it gave her a funny feeling. 
    There is a point to these ramblings. It is July 4th. I have a friend who had some bad things happen to him on the 4th of July, and after 10 years of watching him go into a depression and obsess about something he will never be able to change, it is like I was there and saw it as it happened through his eyes.   I have tried for years to help him let go of some of the pain of that year, but things stick in his head like they do mine, and I can tell it is hitting him extra hard this year.  He is being really quiet, and anyone who knows him knows he is NEVER quiet. :) I think that is part of why he an I get along so well I am rarely quiet too.


     I am so tired of every time you turn around people are trying to make EVERYTHING a racial issue even if that may not be the case.   Did you all see that clip on one of the news pages where the woman and her son went to a restraint and they were told the little boy was in violation of the dress code?  The employee that stopped them made it clear it was because of the clothes, and even said they would love for them to eat there , and asked if they lived close enough that they could go home and change the clothes. 
     The mother spotted another little boy (out side) dressed similarly to the way her son was, and asked why he was allowed to eat there. The employee told her it was the shoes that did not meet the dress code. ( Personally I do not see any reason for a fancy dress code.  As long as you are clean without any private body parts sticking out, any clothes should be ok) , but some restraints have fancy clothes codes.  I do not eat in them lol.  Back to my point.  No one on the tape everrrrrrr said it was a color issue.  On being interviewed by the news the mother herself even said SHE ASSUMED it was a color thing.  People should never assume anything. You so not know what other people are thinking, there for you can not say what they were thinking.  I think it is sad two people lost their job because someone thinks they are above the rules.  
     This event made me think of a song I heard decades ago. If I can find it on line I will put it on my wall.  
     I do not know if people do not get that trying to make a raciest event out of something that was not one, makes it harder for people to care about the real ones.  Like the little boy that cried wolf.   Real events or racism should be delt with, but just because someone does not get their own way does not automatically make the person that stopped you from breaking a rule a racist.


     Today is a beautiful day. It is not as hot, no rain , and few clouds with a cool breeze blowing.   I threw some bread out to the neighborhood birds and sat there on my porch just watching them.  They would come in pick up a piece and take it a bit farther back to eat it.   The funny part was this grown baby bird. It kept trying to get the parent to feed it, and the parent wanted it to eat on its own, so it kept moving away from the baby.   I was watching them the other day and I think the one was trying to get the wrong adult to feed it, because I saw the bigger bird grab the younger one by the beak and flip it to the ground.  I had never seen that in a bird before, but it found its real parent and started following it around lol.  I will be surprised if some of these birds do not have 2 sets of babies this year. The first set is nearly grown and it is only mid June.
     I hope we get some more nice days. All those clouds and rain was getting old really fast.   I heard they were canceling the fireworks this 4th of July. Probably because they had to cancel the big cook off they usually have with them.
     I thought it was bad the year I graduated because we had a big teachers strike that year and to get all 180 days in they had to tack and extra hour on each day, and make everyone even the seniors go to the very last day allowed by law. But these kids this year got it worse.  The graduated in small groups so they did not get to see their friends one last time before they have to be adults.  All their events around graduation were canceled.  Today my neighbor is having a small graduation party for her daughter,but it is not nearly as big as it was originally going to be.  At least they has a nice day for it.



 I am about to write a blog that some of you will definitely not like, BUT before you start giving me your opinions, I would like you to read it with an open mind.  We have all heard the story George Floyd died while pinned to the ground by an officer with his knee on Floyd's neck.   I have seen the videos and the officers involved should definitely be held accountable for the murder. Id he was in fact in medical distress as one of the reports claim, they should not have been cutting off his breathing in any way.  I would call that excessive force.  No one should die like that.  Thing is there are always 2 sides to the story. Other videos show he did in fact struggle with the officers when they first tried to arrest him.  Which brings me to the next question? Why was he being arrested in the first place?  The report said he appeared to be under the influence. I feel an autopsy should have been done to determine the actual cause of death.   It does not look at all good from the first video stand point, but sometimes pictures do not tell the whole truth.

     I am not in any way trying to make excuses for the officers this was a death that should never have happened.   I just think if you are going to tell the story TELL IT ALL not just the parts that make George Floyd look like a victim, because there is a possibility IF HE WAS IN FACT UNDER THE INFLUENCE that what ever he was on could have been responsible for his death and not the sufficing. The only reason i bring this up is he kept saying I can't breathe, and one time i was in the hospital, I told the doctor I could not breathe, and he told me yes I can breathe, because if I could not breathe I could not talk. Everyone knows air has to go through your voice box to speak. If he could not breathe he would have no air to go through it to make the words. I definitely think before the officer’s trial an autopsy should be done to make sure what killed him. That knowledge could make a big difference in what charges the officers were charged with. If the autopsy said it was an underline health problem that killed him the charge would not be murder it would be manslaughter or excessive force.

I saw his memorial suffice on the tv today. It was nice for his friends and family, but I cannot help but wonder if they are making a martyr out of someone that is not a hero. I know there is good in everyone, and they should be remembered for the good they do in their lives. I will give you an example: We had a man that lived in my neighborhood that sold drugs. Everyone knew it, but no one turned him in ,because he was a nice guy. Anytime we were raising money for parties for the neighborhood children he donated a large amount. Did that make him a saint NO! But it did show he had good in him, and many people in the neighborhood were sad when he got shot and killed about a block from my house. They were sad not because he was a saint or a hero, but deep inside they could see he was a caring person IN HIS OWN WAY. Was his way the law abiding way NO. But he was not all bad, just as I am sure Mr Floyd was a good man, but it could be he was not showing his good side at the time of his death.

Now lets jump to a different subject that has stemmed out of all the protest over this death. I saw where they are taking down a statue of Robert E Lee. That is a good thing, because it should never have been put up. Not because of it being racist per say but more because he was on the losing side in the war. Who does that? erect monuments to the leader of the losing side. One thing people need to realize though. Getting rid of all the symbols of the south in the civil war will not change the fact it happened. A smart person once said he who forgets history is condemned to repeat it. OK I am done for now lol.


     I think what happened to George Floyd was awful.   No one should ever have to die lie that, and I think the officer should have gotten first degree murder for it.   That haven been said, I really hope someone out there can explain a few things to me. First thing I did not understand was some are blaming Trump for something involving this case. What do they think he has to do with it ?  He was not even there.  The second thing I do not understand is how does breaking into stores, looting, and killing people that had nothing to do with this event when it happened, make anything better?   If the anger was just directed at the officer that did it or the people that stood by and let it happen I would understand it, but breaking into businesses, some in other states and calling it a protest of the event makes no sense to me.
     I did however see a protest that made a lot of sense.  The protesters were laying on the ground with their hands behind their backs chanting I can't breathe. That makes sense they were reenacting the event that killed Mr Floyd.
     I think some people just use anything the can find as a reason to destroy things and steal things, and I do not think that behavior does anyone any good. 
     If you find an injustice and want to protest it by all means do so, but do it in an orderly manner and keep your actions related to the event you are protesting.


   With all this stay at home stuff I have finally gotten around to doing something I have put off for decades.   I do not know how many of you collect greeting cards, but I have nearly every Birthday card and most of the Christmas cards I ever got.   For years they have been stored in little boxes under my bed. The plan was always to put them in photo albums so the pictures could be accessed at a flip of the page.  I actually started that project last week. I have filed one album and am waiting on more sleeves to do others.
     I have found cards I forgot I ever got. Many meant very much to me at the time I got them, that is why I kept them. It hurts a little when you come across cards from people that used to mean so much to you, and they say love you or love always, but these people have walked out of your life.   I came across several cards from a girl I have know sense she was a kid i used to babysit her and her sisters.  I thought of this girl as a sister, and now she will drive right past my house without even waving.  Her sisters are always happy to see me when I run into them put somewhere, but she never even lets on like she sees me, so I have stopped going up to her.  It is clear for what ever reason she has chosen to leave her old life and friends behind( I am not the only one she does this to).  NOW HERE IS THE IRONY OF THIS: When my brother got married and moved away my friend made a remark about him needing to remember where he came from. How ironic is it that she has forgotten where she came from?  Thing is my brother never forgot where he came from. When our residents counsel needed a freezer for our food bank my brother came and took me to get it for them and carried it into the community hall and set it up for us, and he did this on a moments notice.  Someone who has forgot where they came from would not drop everything to help when their old neighborhood needed it.   I guess it is like that old quote says, : You should be careful who you judge, because someday you yourself may become the very thing you say you are against"  < that is not the exact quote , but you get the idea.
     I found many cards from friends and  realities who have been dead for years.   It makes me smile they once loved me so much , but it makes me sad they are not longer here with us.   I also found Christmas cards from my ex and another friend that is no longer my friend.   Another piece or irony for you : We keep cards to remember, not realizing at the time that someday the people that gave them to you will not longer be in your life for one reason or another, so all you will have is the memory.
     Ok I have let all those feelings out now I need to get back to some more catching up. I still have at least 3 more boxes of cards to find, and the new binder will be here tomorrow :)


     I saw something on tv today that puzzled me a bit.  It seems that some people think we are living in a computer simulation. That is an interesting thought, but that is all it is is a thought.   I say this because  IF I had made such a program I most certainly would not have designed it so the characters could realize they were not real. Would that not mess up the whole  point of making the simulation.   I really think the people who came up with this may have watched too much Star Trek TNG . They did an episode where professor moriadi  < prob misspelled  that lol In a Sherlock
Homes  scene  in the hollow deck became aware he was a player in a scene.  lol Here is another thing if it really was a simulation  Why would we remember people that died?


     I will be glad when this virus is under control and people can once again show their faces in public.   I went out to a store for the first time sense this started last night, and I noticed many people were having as much trouble with these masks as I am. I understand they are for everyone's good, and we must do this for the protection of everyone.  What I really hate is with the masks on you can not see if someone is smiling at you in a friendly way, because they are glad to see you.  Or if they are frowning and really do not want you around.  I had not thought about this much till yesterday.  I took a short walk WITH MY MASK ON and as I passed a neighbor who was also wearing a mask I smiled at them. It was then that I realized they could not see I was smiling at them, because the mask blocked the smile.   I got to thinking maybe I should make a mask with a smile painted on the front of it.  I did not realize till last night now much I rely on peoples facial expressions to tell me how they feel.   Too bad we can not breath through plastic.  If the masks were made of clear plastic we would be able to see if someone was smiling, but I know that would be impossible . The masks would kill people faster then the virus lol. 
     I have way too much time on my hands to think of silly things.  Thing is when you live alone you have much time to just think if you can not get out and see other people.   I was in the hospital the other day and even my doctor who shakes my hand every time I see him restrained himself from doing so. I really believe people need human touch sometimes. If you have a family living with you, you still have that touch, but if you live alone it really is isolation.
     I hope the scientists come up with a good way to manage this virus soon, but I am a realist and doubt anything will be truly control able for at least a year, and by then it will have mutated again.   Too bad they can not find the factors that are common in all strains of the virus, and target those elements. That way if it mutates theoretically any vaccine they came up with would work n all strands of it.

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