jane_and.the_dragon

 
joined: 2014-04-15
Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are. ht
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UNBELIEVABLE OR WHEN IT RAINS IT PORES!

    I recieved a call this morning.   Just 2 months after the death of my brother and less then 2 weeks after the death of my favorite cousin, my dead brother's wife is dead.   She died at 2 am this morning.   My other brother called me after he called out nephew and conrmed what was posted on face book by a neighbor to my sister in law.   I have not even cried yet.   I am still in shock.   I knew my sister in laws health was not good, but no way did I expect her to die so soon after my brother.   I just spoke to her a couple weeks ago and we were making plans for me to help her take some pictures off her old computer.   Noone should lose both parents so closly together.   The say she had a heart attack, but there are those of us that think it may have been a broken heart that caused her death.   She told my sister just about a week ago she did not think she would ever get over my brother's death.   They had gotten married in 1968 right out of highschool, and had been together ever sense.   
     The death of a lovedone is hard to take and this makes 3 in the past 3 months.   The last time my family was hit by this many deaths in one year was in the 1960's we had 8 or 10 that year.   I keep telling myself NEXT YEAR HAS GOT TO BE BETTER.   Like the song says If we make it through December everyting is gonna be alrigh I know,   I have to hold on to the future being better then this year.   If I did not I would fall into a depression I may not recover from.   So I paint and I crochet and I craft and I play on line games all in an attempt to keep my mind from thinking about the losses of this year.
     Sadly I am not the only one who is feeling these losses.   I have at least 4 friends and associates who have all lost people close to them this year.   One of the things that keeps me going is my belief that everything happens for a reason even if we can not see it at the time there is one.    I believer there is a guiding force controling everything and if something bad happens there is a reason for it.    EXAMPLE:  When I was under 2 years old I nearly died from choaking on a lifesaver ( do not let anyone tell you you can not choak on them I did).   I believe the lack of oxygen  is why I have panic attack syndrome today.   I nearly died and was turning blue by the time they got it out of my throat( hylemic was not invented yet).   Eventhough I survived with a new health issue, I survived.   It was not till over a decade later that I may have seen the why I survived that near death experience.   When I was 13 some of us kids were playing near a road.   One of the smaller children a girl about 3 years old wondered onto the road.   A car was barreling down on her at a fast speed, and she did not move.   I looked up an saw the car then I saw her motionless on the road.   Without even thinking of anything but getting her off the road.   I ran to her grabbed her and jerked her from the path of the car intime for us to feel the wind from the car as it passed us with just inches to spare.     WHY DID NOT DIE FROM THE LIFESAVER WHEN I WAS LESS THEN 2 MYSELF?   The answerr was staring me in the face that day TO SAVE SANDIES LIKE over a decade later.   I xcould not see it at the time but the good lord could.      ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THINGS HAPPENING FOR A REASON: My brother that died in Aug  had a heart attack and a quadruple bypass in Nov that he was recovering from nicely when he was diagnosed with the cancer that killed him.   I wondered for a long time why the good lord put him throught the heart attack only to take him home less then a year later.    I think the answer to that question was staring me in the face all along.   When my brother came out of the heart attack he was changed.   He himself asked me to spend last Thanksgiving with him and his family.   He himself had not invited me to his house in over 20 years.   When he asked himself I went. I also spent Christmas and Easter with him before he died.   I think the heart attack may have been an awakening to the fact family is important.    Tbe same thing happened with our dad he surbibed a stroke to die of a heart attack less then 2 months later, but the last 2 months of his life he made peace with the whole family.   The ironic thing with my dad was when he had the stroke the doctors were not looking for him to live.  The next day he was awake and when the doctors said they had not thought he would wake up he said THE GOOD LORD HAD SOMETHING HE WANTED HIM TO DO FIRST!   Apparently he was right cause less then 2 months after making peace with the whole family my dad was called home.
     Back to my sister in law.   She was really missing my brother bad.   Sometimes a broken heart is more deadly then a heart attack.   I am worried about her kids.   Yes they are grown up but this is alot to take in such a short time.   I was lucky my dad and mom died a few years appart I do not know how they are going to take it losing both parents a couple months apart.   Her granddaugheter is not going to take it well I know that.   She was at her grandparents nearly as much as she was at home.  
      WHEN IT RAINS IT PORES!