jane_and.the_dragon

 
joined: 2014-04-15
Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are. ht
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A POST NOTE TO FAMILY TIES

     I rarely do an add on to a blog but here it is:   Thank you both for your comments.   You are right no one teaches us hoe to be parents gut,there is one thing you are over looking EgoPatrol   Most people do not need to be taught how to be parents if they wait till they are of an age to handle the job.   Now a days thought we have kids having kids before they themselves are adults.  Also the ones that do know how to do it correctly are often afraid to do what they know needs done, because they are afraid to be labeled child abusers or bad parents.   I do not advocate beating a child harshly or for no reason, but I do feel sometimes a swat or 2 on the butt can make the difference between a child dead from playing in the road and a child that lives to have children of their own some day.   lol my mom would always let us know when we had pushed too far by calling us by our full names.   If we stopped doing what she had told us to stop before or when she called us by all 3 names we did not get spanked, but if we pushed past the all 3 names warning we knew next we would get a spanking.   My sister taught me that when I was like 5.   She tole me to stop what I was doing I forget what it was.  I said why?  She said mom just called you by all 3 names and if you do not stop now you are gonna get a spanking.    I ignored my sisters warning and she was right.   After that I never pushed past when mom called me by my full name i stopped what I was doing, and did not get spanked.    I tried to teach the same lesson to my little brother, but he was hard headed and occasionally pushed past the warning sign lol.   Today's moms are worried they will have the law at their house for making their kids do as they tell them to.   My mom did not worry about that.   It is as she told her sister one time and her father before that.   Their father tried to interfere in  how the girls raised the grandchildren.   He would not allow my aunt to spank her kids and I might add they got in much trouble with the law, but my mom straight up told him (These are my kids and when they need their a** beat they are gonna get it.)   Notice the wording NEED.   If we got spanked it was cause we did not listen any other way.   
     So many parents today either want to be their kids friends or they are afraid to be the disciplinarians in the family, and as a result we have a generation of willful, selfish, entitled, disobedient, and disrespectful kids that think they can say or do anything to anyone and get away with it.  More parents need to realize they are not meant to be their children's friends they are meant to be their parents.   Someone to protect the child and teach it right from wrong and how to survive in the world without breaking laws or hurting other people.   It does not necessarily mean the parent hates the child just because the child gets a swat on the rump once in a while to drive home a point.   
   What irritates me most is when I see a kid sassing a parent.   If you do not respect your own parent, you will respect no one.     I believe all children can be taught to be good people, but it takes a strong parent to do it.   One that is not afraid to say no to their child or if need be give them a swat to make them understand something they are doing is dangerous and will not be tolerated.  I will give you a perfect example of something that happened about 15 years ago up the street from my house.   A young mother was caring for her 2 children alone.   The girl was a baby and the boy was about 4 years old.   Every time the mother took her eyes off the boy for even a second he would go to the road.   After she took him off the road for the third time in one day she decided she need to make him understand to stay off the road.   She took a tiny switch off a bush in the yard and when she took him off the street the last time she swatted him a couple times with the switch.   One of the neighbors called the police and reported her for child abuse.   When the police came out she let them see her son and told the officers  He would not stay off the road and I would rather he have a couple little welts then be dead from getting hit by a car wouldn't you?   The police realized this was not a case of abuse.   This was a case of a mother doing what she needed to to protect her son,  and they went away without pressing charges.   She knew what needed to be done to protect her child from being hit by a car and winding up in a casket.     I believe use other means when necessary like time outs and I myself am a big fan of positive reinforcement.   If a child does what they should without being a brat you give them something they want.   I used to use candy canes as rewards for doing homework, but there are many possibilities.   I told my niece one time if she was good for a month I would get her a rain stick.   I think she still has it.   So many parents today cave to children whining or crying or temper fits.   As a parent you need to stand strong and show the child who is boss.  YOU ARE THE PARENT not their friend and it is your job to teach them how to get along in the world not be a pain to others in the world.    OK I WILL CLIMB DOWN OFF MY SOAP BOX NOW. lol, but think about it we did not have kids taking guns to school and shooting their class mates when parents were not afraid to swat their butts if they needed it.