Something happened today that made me think of my Aunt Gin. I rarely think of her as she died many years ago, and she and I did not get along well anyhow. She used to say her one daughter could cut you to pieces without even raising her voice. She meant that her daughter would emotionally cut you up, not that she physically even touched the one at which she was aiming.
I am not sure if people know or even realize how their words may affect others, but some people can devastate others with only a word or 2, especially if what they say is not the truth. It hurts to have someone think something about you that is not true, especially if you care about the person speaking the words.
Sometimes the words are spoken in anger, but more often then not they are spoken out of frustration. Unfortunate words spoken in frustration can sometimes feel like words spoken in anger to another person. I was trying to help my brother format a some tablets recently. I was already stressed when he and his wife arrived unexpected. I was trying to hook one of the tablets to my computer. The cord did not fit. My brother said the end is tapered and did I turn the taper the right way. I answered him yea I had. Couple seconds later he asked the same question again. I was getting frustrated and I snapped at him YES I DONE TOLD YOU YES I HAD IT RIGHT. He got really quiet and I realized I hurt his feelings. I said look I am sorry if I hurt your feelings but I had already answered that question. He said well I did not hear it. In retrospect I think my brother is losing his hearing, as this is not the first time he has said he could not hear me. It is a bit ironic though as most people think I speak too loud lol.
Just little things we say to someone when we are frustrated can hurt them deeply. I have also found if I am in pain i get cranky myself and it does not take much to either make me angry or to hurt my feelings. Too bad we can not see the effects of what we are about to do before we actually do it.