az_charlie2003

 
registro: 31/08/2014
Pontos94mais
Próximo nível: 
Pontos necessários: 106

Texting with Grandma

I recently explained to my Grandmother that WTF in the text message meant "WOW, THAT'S FANTASTIC". Her messages are much more entertaining now.


HEADACHES

A gentleman on his 39th birthday, decides it is time to get his constant headaches resolved. He goes to the Dr and tells his complaint, "I have been having terrible headaches since I turned 30, and they get more and more painful". The Doctor immediately sets him up for all kinds of tests, all of which come back inconclusive. He is sent to a specialist, who also sets him up for more intensive and intrusive tests. Again, there is nothing conclusive. Finally, his second specialist recommends castration as the "only possible" way to stop the incessant headaches. After many months of talking to his wife, priest, counsellor and family, he decides that is the only way to end this torment.
He returns to the second specialist and concedes. Hoping to end this torment, he is admitted to the hospital and has his members removed. Almost immediately upon release, he has wonderful results. His headaches have ceased and he has a much calmer outlook of life. His wife and family are amazed that he has been doing so well, they decide to throw a big birthday party for him on his 40th birthday. With three months to plan, they inform him and he decides he must have a special suit to wear for this occasion. He goes to the finest tailor with the best reputation in his town and informs them of the situation. They spend many hours measuring, cutting, fitting and making sure he is to look as wonderful as he feels. As he is trying on the suit three days before the event, his tailor asks him, "How do the sleeves feel?"
"Just terrific, thank you."
And how do you like the cut of the slacks?"
"They are perfect," he tells the tailor.
"Now, one more thing to totally perfect the suit, you need new underwear that has never been worn." says the tailor.
"Great!", he says. "I wear size 32."
"Oh, no." says the tailor. "Your slacks are size 38."
"But I've worn size 32 since i was in high school." he explained.
The tailor explained, "You need size 38 underwear, or you will get a terrible headache."