denverc

 
Relationship status: it's complicated
I want to play with: women
Looking for: friendship
Zodiac sign: Libra
Birthday: 1956-09-30
joined: 2014-07-28
When you think your life is bad, Just remember someone out there is dating your ex !!!!!!!!!
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1 year 148 days ago

Baby Crawfish

???
A baby crawfish and its mother were walking along a ditch when the baby crawfish who had gone ahead, comes flying back down the ditch. The mother followed and asked, "What is the matter?" The baby crawfish answers, "Look that big thing right there." The mother says "Don't worry about that; it is just a cow." So they keep walking. Then the baby crawfish comes flying down again. The mother asked again, "What is the matter?" The baby says look at that thing right there. The mother says "That is just a dog; it will not hurt you," so they kept walking. Then suddenly the mother goes flying by the baby crawfish. The baby crawfish asked its mother what's wrong, and the mother said, "Run! That's a Cajun and they eat anything


Time to go home

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, “Look, buddy, I’ll bring ya’ martinis all night long — but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill.”The customer replies, “I’m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it’s time to go home.


Watch what you wish for ?

A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink.
While waiting, he sees a guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a little tiny head.
So, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body and a small head?"
The guy replied, "I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her."
"For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and POOF right there on the sand was $10,000,00."
"For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and POOF right there on the ocean was a 90-foot yacht."
"Finally for my third wish, I asked to have sex with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in that kind of activities."
So, I said, "c'mon, how about a little head?"


Goodbye Daddy

One night a girl said to her family "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa. the next morning her grandpa died. That night she said "Goodnight mommy, Goodnight daddy, Goodbye Grandma. the next morning the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night the girl said "Goodnight mommy, Goodbye daddy. the next morning the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine but when he went into the kitchen he saw his wife crying. when he asked her whats wrong she said “The Mail Man died”.


great weekend

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.

The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000", the jeweler said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. "I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."

"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"