joined: 2014-10-26
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Tomorrow is the day

     Tomorrow is supposed to be the day for the test to see if the clot cleared and if it did they will try the ablation.   It is so scary not knowing when I go in if I will wake up with the clot gone and the ablation done or if the clot will still be there.  It does not help my worries when I found something on line dated about 9 years ago that said ablation patients do not live a really long time after the ablationn1.gif?v=122 . I hope that has changed.  The whole point of this is to make my heart work more efficiently so I may have a long healthier life.  It would be a cruel joke on me if I have it and it actually shortens my life span. 
     I guess I am really not doing myself any favors looking at all these things that could go wrong, but I am one that likes to be prepared for the worst.  Then if the best happens I was ready to deal with the bad, so I can enjoy the better. I went for blood work yesterday and it was an hour long wait for  them to take one tube of blood.  I have problems with anxiety, and I was freaking out when I could not find my niece. They would not let her go in with me.   This was only the second time she had ever taken me for anything health related. Usually her mom does it. My niece is a good girl,and I do not think she would leave me, but when you have anxiety problems your mind does not always thing straight
     I am doing my best to not dissolve into a quivering mass of nerves and fear, but it is hard.  Times like this I wish my mom was still alive and healthy. She always knew how to calm me down when I would get like this.  I took one of my anxiety pills but it is not taking effect yet, hope it does soon.   We have dark clouds out here today and I think they will be around all week.  Dark clouds do not help my mood when I get in one of these thinking about bad things moods.
     The hospital has not called me yet with any instructions about tomorrow no time yet either and that is another thing I am worried about, What if they did not schedule it as planned.   I called down to the hospital the other day and I was told they do not usually call with the instructions till the day before, so they still have time.  I hate that last minute planning thing.