jane_and.the_dragon

joined: 2014-04-15

Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are. ht

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Pool 8 - 2009

Pool 8 - 2009
167 days ago

Alpha and Omega

2017-05-10

1607

     I thought this is the most appropriator place for this blog because this was where the alpha was and now it appears it will also be the omega.   Life is like a winding road.   It has ups and downs and sometimes some very sharp curves with terrible drop offs into pits of depression.   The fact is you can travel it like and expert but no matter who you are or how you take life's journey, no one gets out of it alive.    The best we can hope for is to find people to take the trip with us.   People that you can count on are rare, but if you find them you should hang on to them with both hands.    I have one such friend.   She and her family are always there for me even when I have one of my more psychotic episodes, I can count on her to be standing there by my side when I come back into my real mind.   Which is not to say we never digress we are human and we both realize it so we understand that humans have emotions and sometimes need to let them out.   Those of you that have been loyal readers of my blog know that I use my blog to vent about anything and everything that is bothering me at the time.   My real friends know and understand that is all it is just vented emotions that rarely have anything to do with real life.
     Some of you may have noticed I have not been writing much lately.   There is a reason for that it has to deal with and omega event in my life, but after living through the deaths of my brother, sister in law and favorite cousin last year I have emerged stronger.   It occurred to me that not all omega events end your life sometimes they are just stepping stones to a different stage of your life. All endings are sad for a time no matter what ends.   Losing family, a job, a friend,or just your mind all are sad, but when you survive them you will emerge stronger and wiser then before they happened.   Sometimes like the Phoenix something must go down in flames for something more beautiful to be reborn from the ashes.    I have said this before I believe everything in life happens for a reason, and sometimes it is not our place to know what the reason was for an event. It is just our place to learn from it.
     Lately I have been doing a lot of searching for answers and not finding many.   The problem with that is it overworks your mind and makes it race.   That will make it hard to sleep and the lack of sleep will make you totally nuts.   I found that out the hard way about 2 years ago when I went 3 days on only 1 hr sleep a night.   Not only did I make myself nuts I made and ex friend of mine's life hell too.   Recent events in my life has flashed my memory back to those bad days.   As a result I think I will need to take a few steps away from things I know to trigger these feelings in myself.    I have had the same feelings I had that really bad week a couple years ago.   What drives me crazy is when people do not realize MY BLOGS at least are not meant to hurt anyone or cause any problems anywhere all my blogs are is a steam valve to let my emotions vent out of me before they cause me or maybe someone I love to get hurt.    I will never totally abandon anyone or anything I care about so in time I will get things sorted out and maybe even have a new Alpha in my life.
FORGIVE ME IF THIS BLOG RAMBLES A BIT, BUT THAT IS HOW MY MIND IS WORKING AT THIS TIME.   I have been hitting a bunch of bumps on the road to life.   lol It is a lot like those stretches of road that they put the bars in so your car will vibrate when you cross them.