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Literal

jcesplace
2023-03-21
0
0

It turns out a major study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. Makes sense to me, I mean I've never eaten a monkey.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said "This isn't working". I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working just fine.


Try seeing it my way for once

player5df01c2951db3
2023-03-20
59
5

Just for an hour or two,
or maybe a day.
I wish we could trade places,
so you could see things my way.
You would hurt when I'd hurt,
you would know how it feels.
You'd understand why I bitch,
when you think it's no big deal.
It's the constant day-to-day,
inconsiderate things you do that make me feel this way.
Never get the time with you that I need,
never answer your phone when I call.
Always has some story, excuse, or reason,
but never really made sense at all.
I feel like an outsider looking in on your life.
It's not supposed to be like this,
we've been together so long you call me your wife.
Looking back through the years though,
nothing has changed.
I should be used to it by now,
but you never really get used to the pain.
All the empty days and lonely nights,
have taken their toll on me.
Instead of pure love,
now my heart is filled with insecurity.
I try to explain it,
but you can't understand.
That's why I want to trade places,
and let me be the man.
Just for an hour or two,
or maybe a day.
I want to do you like you do me,
then maybe you'll see things my way.


IS SO TRUE

ALPHAONE
2023-03-20
14
0

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.


A Chilly Holiday?

CoyoteUK
2023-03-19
56
3

My wife had been bugging me for ages, wanting to go on holiday, but unable to decide where she wanted to go.
So, finally, I got a map of the world and pinned it to a wall in the kitchen.
I gave her one dart "Wherever the dart lands that's where we will go" I told her.
So, we spent two weeks behind the fridge......


I’m done

ALPHAONE
2023-03-19
46
3

I'm done. I'm done trying to get her. I just can't do it anymore... To bad it took me so long to figure it out, to stop making fool of myself, to try to be for her whenever sheneeded me...


TRUE FRIENDS

l_want_to_ride_your_harley
2023-03-18
101
13

I heard it said on tv tonight and it is still true ( A TRUE FRIEND IS HARD TO FIND, HARDER TO LEAVE AND IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET.) Truer words were never spoken. I had a good net friend about 2 decades ago. If it were not for his caring and understanding how messed up I was at the time, I would not be here today. I was on the verge of punching my own ticket, and he stepped into that dark place I was in and pulled me out into the light again. It has been a couple years sense he has been on the net and I still miss him. I fear the pandemic may have gotten him :( he had copd before it hit. I fear he may not have been strong enough to survive the virus if he got it.
I thought I found another friend a few years ago that would have been just as important in my life. * Shrugs guess I was wrong because the leaving was not as hard as I thought it would be. It seems that friend has forgotten me. I still have remnants of the relationship I THOUGHT we were building, but they grow thinner every day.'
Another saying goes some people come into your life for a reason, others for a season, and there are others that leave foot prints in your memory forever.


Irish Soda Bread

꧁CheFKaT꧂
2023-03-17
37
6

2 Eggs
1 Stick Butter
1 Cup of Sugar
2 Tsp Carraway Seeds
Mix in Mixer
Add 1 Cup milk- Mix
Add 3 cups Flour
Add 2 Tsp Baking Powder
Add 3 Cups Raisins Mix Until Blended
Pour into Greased & Floured Bundt Pan
Sprinkle With Sugar

Bake at 350 for 40 Minutes
Great next day toasted too



:Thank You For The Peanuts"!!!

†Ķɴɪɢʜᴛ†
2023-03-16
63
9

John is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother's house for a visit.
There's a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table, and John and his friends start snacking on them. When they're ready to leave, his friends say, "Nice to meet you, ma'am, and thank you for the peanuts." Grandma says, "You’re welcome. Ever since I lost my dentures, all I can do is suck the chocolate off of them."


DICTIONARY DEFINITIONS 1

l_want_to_ride_your_harley
2023-03-15
102
10

I have decided to write some blogs on dictionary definitions. Maybe I can enlighten people who have no clue what these words mean or how they are used, hopes this helps. Oh by the way, someone made a threat to report me for writing my blogs. Even though I NEVER use any names. lol lets see them report this it is only a bit of education.
Inconsequential: not important or significant.
Used in a sentence: One of the things she loved became inconsequential when lies were told about her were believed by someone she respected.
Insignificant: too small or unimportant to be worth considerations
Used in a sentence: In the whole world people who care only about their own wants and needs become insignificant to the world.
Discriminated: To make an unjust or prejudicial distinction in the treatment of different categories of people.
Used in a sentence:  She discriminated against anyone who was not in her clique. 
Power trip:  an activity or way of behaving that makes a person feel powerful: something that a person does for the pleasure of using power to control other people 
Used in a sentence:  She's been on a power trip since she was promoted to manager.  
Benevolent:  well meaning and kindly
Used in a sentence:  She decided to take a benevolent attitude to those that wronged her. 
Loyalty:   Faithfulness or devotion to a person, country, group, or cause. 
Used in a sentence: After many years of loyalty to the company he was let go by the new owner of the company.  
Propaganda:  dissemination of information—facts, arguments, rumors, half-truths, or lies—to influence public opinion. 
Used in a sentence:  Propaganda can be a powerful tool if those hearing it do not check the facts. 
Evidence:  The available body of facts or information indicating whether a belief or proposition is true or valid.
Used in a sentence:  Even though no real evidence was provided, the innocent man was hung anyhow by the corrupt sheriff.  


Priceless...

HopeK429
2023-03-13
78
5

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!" So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son, what happened last ! night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone! I'm married!" Self-induced hangover -- $100.00
Broken furniture -- $2,000.00
Breakfast -- $10.00
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk -- PRICELESS !

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