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• Child Grooming & Abduction – A True Story2017-07-25

  

  GritsnGrace101

  Jim decided to share the story of how his daughter was groomed and abducted by pedophiles, in order to help other children and parents.

  “Her mother and I divorced when Lucy was five. Her mother has some serious health issues, so Lucy has lived with me, almost exclusively, for 6 years. We are very close and there is a lot of love, laughter and music in our home. She’s my little Princess.

   

  We live in a small, rural town. It’s quiet and nothing much happens. I thought it was a safe place to raise my little girl.

  I work around forty hours a week, but I don’t want to say what I do or where I work.

  I was aware of pedophiles and grooming, obviously, but I never thought it would happen to my little girl.

  I thought she was safe here, with me.

  I was wrong.

   

  Looking back, I was extremely naïve, which is why I’m doing this. I wish I had been aware of the scale, method and ferocity of online grooming.

   

  Even before Lucy left the local primary school, most of her friends had iPhones and ipads, Facebook and Snapchat. So, for her 10th Birthday, I bought her a second hand IPhone. She loved it, and it was great for me to be able to contact her, no matter where she was. I thought it was a good move, safety-wise.

   

  I think we talked a little bit about online safety, but I know she had covered it as part of her lessons at school.  She seemed aware of it.

  I thought it was too early to have a conversation about porn or any of that stuff, because Lucy still played with dolls, and hadn’t started puberty to any great degree. I felt she was still too young.

   

  Lucy had a close circle of friends and she’d have sleepovers, go on shopping trips or to the local parks. She was a normal kid. In such a small town, everyone looks out for each other. I always knew where she was and who she was with.

   

  Well, I thought I did.

   

  For me, everything changed on Saturday 10th September, 2016.

   

  Lucy was having a sleepover at a friend’s house, which was in the same town, less than two miles away.  She had been there many times, and the parents are good people. I had no concerns at all.

  It was nice for me to have a night off. I adore my daughter, but a day and night to myself is a rare and welcome treat.

   

  Making dinner, I was hit by a sudden impulse to ring Lucy and see how she was doing. She’s a real Daddy’s girl and we send lots of messages. It was a powerful, instinctive urge, which was unsettling.

  Her phone went straight to answerphone, which wasn’t anything unusual. Signal can be patchy in rural areas. I sent a message asking if she was having fun, with kisses and hearts, and asked her to send me a message when she could.

  After dinner, I rang her friend’s landline, but no answer. I remember having a feeling that something wasn’t right, but sat down, clicked the TV on and figured I’d call again in an hour.

  By 9, I was getting worried. It was unusual that Lucy hadn’t sent me a message.  I told myself they’d gone out for a meal or to the pictures or something normal. I was being irrational.

   

  The phone rang at 10.32pm. It was the police. They had found Lucy. She was okay but very upset. They were going to bring her home but needed to talk to me.

  What did they mean, ‘found her?’

   

   

  The doorbell rang and Lucy rushed in. She looked terrified and threw herself onto me, sobbing and shaking. I folded my arms around her and noticed the female police officer’s sad smile. 

  After Lucy had calmed down, she went upstairs and crashed. She fell fast asleep.

  The police officer told me what had happened:

  ‘Lucy and her friend, Cathy, were abducted by a man, ‘M’, and an accomplice. We don’t know exactly what happened yet, but there was a sexual element to this. Lucy managed to run away but got lost. The sexual contact seems to have been minimal. With Lucy, at least.’

  I didn’t say a word, I just stared. Cathy was 12 and Lucy’s BFF.

  The police officer continued, ‘There’s something else. Has Lucy told you about the Snapchat messages?’

  I shook my head.

   

  APPS & MESSAGES

  “I downloaded Snapchat for a few days, I think, but it didn’t interest me. It was clearly aimed at kids.  When Lucy asked me if she could download it onto her phone, I said ‘yes’. I was probably tired or just didn’t think about it.

  Reading the messages that night was terrible. They started off light and vague, but it didn’t take long for me to see what was happening.

  Having taken legal advice, Jim has agreed to share edited screenshots of the Snapchat messages from Lucy’s phone:

  

  

   

  “The police officer told me that ‘M’ wasn’t a child. He was an adult, was known to police and it was called ‘grooming’. Lucy hadn’t been in contact for long, but Cathy had been groomed for much, much longer.

  Cathy had given Lucy’s Snapchat username to ‘M’, and told her that this ‘really hot guy was into her’, that she should accept his friend request and talk to him.

  ‘M’ lives two miles outside our town. I’m not going to tell you his name and address.

  Lucy and Cathy had gone to the local park to meet him. He talked them into going somewhere secret – an abandoned gas works – where he tried to sexually abuse them.

  Lucy fought him off and started running. It was very dark, she didn’t know where she was and her phone had no signal.

  She saw some lights in the distance, so ran towards them. Miraculously, a police car had been driving by and spotted her near the edge of the road. 

   

  Before the police officer left, she asked if I wanted to press charges against M? I said ‘yes’ without a moment’s hesitation.

  The guilt was almost overwhelming. Why hadn’t I known? Why did I let her have Snapchat? What the hell have I done? I crucified myself.

  We were so close and I thought she told me everything. Why hadn’t she told me about ‘M’?

  Those feelings quickly gave way to blind rage. It’s hard to express the level of anger I felt towards these men, but I’ll come back to that.

  When I stopped at her door that night, her sleep wasn’t peaceful. Her hands were clenched into fists and she was grinding her teeth. I will never forgive those men for the anguish they put on her face.

   

  POLICE

  Two days later, we were visited by specially trained CID officers, and a woman from Social Services. I co-operated fully with everyone, and let Lucy give a statement.

  I also agreed to give the police Lucy’s phone and iPad, so they could go through them and retrieve any evidence.

  Over the next 6 months, Lucy was interviewed seven times. Not just about the abduction, but other events and abuses that she had witnessed. 

  Once, she spent over an hour giving video evidence, while I sat downstairs in a specially designed house for interviewing children who were victims of abuse. 

  She was treated really well on each occasion, and offered counselling and support.

  At first, it was hard to convince Lucy to tell the truth. Not because she’s dishonest, but because she had been groomed. Everyone, myself included, became the enemy. She wanted to protect both Cathy and ‘M’:

  ‘He’s nice, Dad! He’s not done anything wrong!’

  I don’t know where I found the patience to reason with her. My instinct was to shake her and scream ‘don’t be so stupid! He wants to hurt you!’ but she was 11, had been groomed and couldn’t see that.

  We talked a lot and I explained that I wouldn’t betray her. I told her she could tell me anything, and that I’d only tell the police what she agreed I could.

  That wasn’t 100% true. I would email the CID officer if she told me anything that I felt needed to be shared. The officer would tell Lucy she had found out from someone else. I felt bad about that, but I would do it again in a heartbeat.

   

  The police were really good with Lucy. They weren’t patronizing and they listened to her, but the whole thing caused her a lot of internal conflict and pain.

  She was torn between protecting her BFF and her groomer, while not wanting to lie to me or the police. It was really tough on her. She would alternate between silence, denial, anger and sobbing.

   

  CHARGES

  ‘M’ was charged with child abduction and offences under sections 14 and 15 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003, and released on bail. I wanted him imprisoned, but that’s not how the law works.

  His initial bail conditions included him having no contact with Lucy, by any means, but he contacted her via email and her Xbox, so the police were able to place further restrictions on him.

  He wasn’t allowed within the limits of the town, unless he had a specific reason to be driving through it. The limits of the town were defined by the 30 mph speed signs.

  Despite being arrested, charged and on bail, it was very clear that the groomer was not going to stop. 

  That is really important to understand. They will not let your child go, no matter what.

  With that realization, I became absolutely determined to make it as tough as possible for M to get to my daughter.

  I changed my shifts at work so that I could wait for Lucy’s bus to come in. Often, there would be a police car there as well. I walked her to the bus stop in the morning and was in daily contact with her school.

  She was not allowed access to any device that could be linked to the internet, including her Xbox and Nintendo 3DS. Her world was severely restricted, and she was not happy, but I felt I had to do it.

  She was not allowed to go anywhere without me, or have any sleepovers. I felt so sorry for her, but I just couldn’t risk it. The one occasion I let her go to a friend’s house for tea, Lucy messaged ‘M’, using her friend’s phone.

  I had a small network of local friends who would help me. If they saw ‘M’ in town, they would ring me and I would call the police. 

  This may seem OTT, but as far as I was concerned, myself and the pedophile were at war.

  ‘M’ broke his bail conditions regularly, but police found it impossible to catch him. You see, he wasn’t working alone. He had people who would drive him to meet Cathy, then act as look-outs, texting him if they saw me or the police around. 

  Cathy was ‘in love’ and ‘in a relationship’ with ‘M’, Lucy told me. And, of course, Cathy refused to give statements to police, cooperate with Social Services, or surrender her phones. 

  
  

   

  SOCIAL SERVICES

  As a result of being groomed and abducted, Lucy was placed on the Child Protection Register. She was considered to be at ‘high risk of sexual exploitation’.

  It is hard to describe the trauma of sitting in a room with Social Services, a school welfare officer, a CID officer, a nurse and an adjudicator while they describe the severe risk they felt my daughter faced.

  I considered myself a total failure. I couldn’t protect my own child.

  They talked about bi-weekly home visits, about access to her room, about therapists, sexualized behavior, counsellors, strategies, teams, psychologists. They talked about weight loss and about the cuts to her arms and legs.

  My little girl had started to self-harm. There were deep, dark cuts on her arms that must have really hurt. I could not believe that I hadn’t seen them! Some of them were very fresh, others had started to heal. She had hidden them under the long sleeves of her school jumper and pajamas. I asked what she had used, and she said ‘the ring-pulls off Coke cans’.

  When I asked her why she did it, she didn’t know. Kids don’t always know why they do things.

  The social workers and police suggested that I search her room and remove anything from the house that could be used to hurt herself.

  I wept when I searched Lucy’s room for hidden phones and razor blades, and when I locked all sharp objects and medicines in a steel box. I couldn’t believe this was happening.

  Lucy’s behavior suffered greatly. She had over fifty detentions in her first two terms at high school. She spent more time in detention than in class. She was disruptive, defiant, devious, withdrawn, rude and angry. She had become a problem child.

  I kept thinking, ‘well, yes, I’m not surprised she’s angry! You’d be angry too!’

  When I got angry, I caused the Social Worker ‘concern’. When I defended her, I was being naïve. Most of the time I tried to appear compliant and reasonable, but that was an act. On the inside, I was in hell. 

  If I wanted to take her out of the county to go shopping, or to see her Grandad, I had to ring Social Services, so they could inform the police that an ‘at risk’ child was travelling out of the county. I had to let them know where she would be staying and who with, and provide dates of birth, addresses, phone numbers. Staying overnight without me was out of the question. 

  I agreed to everything. My single focus was keeping her safe, so I did what was suggested. I’d have done pretty much anything to make sure she was safe. I trusted that they knew best.

  Lucy’s initial social worker made it clear to me that if I didn’t co-operate, they would get a court order to remove her into care. That really pissed me off. I am still annoyed that she did that, but I’ll get over it.

   

  GROOMING & SNAPCHAT

  The grooming was initially carried out via Snapchat. It’s the platform that seems most favored by pedophiles – for two reasons.

  1) it’s used mostly by children,

  2) some messages self-delete after a few moments of being read. That makes it very difficult for police to access image or text evidence.

  I have to say that several police officers told me that Snapchat, as a company, are very slow and difficult to deal with in regard to retrieving evidence. 

  The worst part of the Snapchat grooming, worse even than the sexual element, was the way M manipulated her into thinking that he was the only one who understood and would protect her. He was her best friend, her confidante, her Superman. I was the enemy, along with friends, teachers and especially, the police. 

  And I couldn’t believe the speed at which M worked on her.

  He took the normal insecurities that any 11 year-old girl has about her body and her looks and used them. He complimented her, flattered her, boosted her self-esteem, gained her trust, and tried to make her ‘fall in love’, like he had with Cathy.

  Once he had her trust and the keys to her self-esteem, he could control her, by making her feel bad if she didn’t do what he wanted. It’s really that simple.

  Lucy felt that she needed him, that he was looking after her.

  I didn’t realize how vulnerable she was and it broke my heart. Reading all the messages was very painful.

  Sometimes, a part of me would get angry at my daughter. I thought, ‘how can you be so bloody stupid and fall for this stuff!’

  But she was only 11. She can’t always see what’s going on below the surface. She trusts and believes and thinks he means it. He made her feel special and beautiful and grown up.

  She’s a child and isn’t worldly enough to cope with the level of coercion and control that M employed.

  Once these pedophiles have control, they can start to exploit them. They can meet them, coerce them, get them drunk, drug them, have sex with them, video them, photograph them, even sell or trade them. It is terrifying.

   

  BLACKMAIL

  Girls of Lucy’s age are fiercely loyal to their friends. Friendships and their social lives are everything. It’s a really intense and emotional age, and pedophiles know this.

  ‘M’ and his gang would use blackmail. They would threaten to hurt Cathy if Lucy told the police, and vice versa. It was hard to break through that.

  These ‘men’ are organized, clever and relentless. Once they have a child on the hook, they will not let her go.

  And it’s not just girls. Boys can be groomed, abducted and raped. They can get to them via online games, through PlayStations or Xboxes, as well as phones and ipads.

  They will give your children phones you know nothing about. I found a phone under Lucy’s mattress that she had been given by one of M’s gang.

  They are ceaseless, devious and it’s very hard to stop them.

   

  Even after I had taken everything off Lucy, they got to her at school. 

  Cathy and Lucy would hide in toilet cubicles and ‘M’ would FaceTime them on a secret phone or iPod. They were shown how to ‘piggy back’ off someone else’s Wi-Fi.

  The school tried to keep the girls apart, but they cannot monitor every single child. 

   

  Jim & Lucy.  

  RAGE AND THE THIRST FOR VENGEANCE

  I have seen M eleven times. He has deliberately come to my workplace – presumably to try and intimidate or provoke me.

  I try to be peaceful, positive and loving, but if I thought I could get away with it, I would beat him until he was dead.

  Fighting the rage has been a daily process for nearly a year. I have some good friends who have helped, and I’ve used other techniques to help me stay calm – prayer, exercise and music. I don’t drink or do drugs, but I often wished I did.

  There was something a CID officer once said and it stayed with me:

  ‘I would want to kill him, too. I’ve got kids. But, think it through – who will look after Lucy while you’re in prison? Because you would be charged, you would be tried and you would be imprisoned.’

  I couldn’t let that happen. I had to stay focused on being there for Lucy. I would often feel like a coward, a weak man, a failure, but, to this day, I have not hit him.

   

   

  A CHILD ABDUCTION WARNING NOTICE

  The CPS dropped the case against ‘M’ and he was released from his bail restrictions on 23rd April 2017.

  It is very difficult to secure reliable witness statements from children who are still being groomed. I’ll leave it there. I have to be careful what I say.

  It wasn’t the fault of the police. They tried everything to get him. I have nothing but admiration and respect for every officer involved. They know he’s a threat and Lucy isn’t the first child he’s groomed and abducted. She won’t be the last. It’s one thing knowing, it’s another thing proving.

  ‘M’ also had help from other men who provided alibis, gave him phones, ferried him around in the backs of their cars, and let him use their houses or flats to meet up with children. They are as guilty as he is.

  Police gave me the names of five local men who they considered to be a threat to Lucy and other girls her age. Police monitor them, but they can’t just arrest them.

  Having local officers on the street was definitely instrumental in protecting my daughter. Lucy felt safer and it made M’s life more difficult.

  The day after the case was dropped, M was served with a Child Abduction Warning Notice, at my request. It means that if he approaches Lucy in any way, I can have him arrested for attempting to abduct her again. 

  It’s currently all I can do, legally. 

   

   BREAKING DOWN

   

  I had held it together for the whole of the investigation, but ‘M’ came to my place of work on the day the case was dropped and smiled at me.

  I tried to attack him and nearly lost my job. I couldn’t bear to see him smiling.

   

  I took two weeks off work – something I never thought I’d do. It’s not in my nature to take days off or seek help, but I had to. I think I would have collapsed from the tension. The whole nightmare just caught up with me and I couldn’t cope any more. It seemed like ‘M’ had won. He was free.

  I swallowed both my male pride and my fear, and went to see a psychologist. I had to keep it together for Lucy’s sake. She needed me. So I had to deal with it all – the sea of guilt, anger, shame, everything.

  The time off and the sessions with the psychologist helped. I was grudgingly able to talk it through and get some perspective on things. I’m not ashamed to say that after each session, on my own, I sobbed like a child. 

  He hadn’t won and he wasn’t free. He was trapped in the hell of being a pedophile and he would be caught. Not this time, but one day. He hadn’t managed to get to my little girl, and she would be fine. She’s a tough cookie.

  Lucy has her own counsellor and I know she finds it useful to be able to talk about things that bother her. I’m her Dad, not her friend or her therapist. There are things that she needs to talk to other people about and I’m 100% happy with that.

  I am incredibly proud of her. It has been hard for me, so I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s been like for her.

   

   

  ADVICE

   

  Firstly, you will have to fight to get your child back, because pedophiles will not let them go. 

  You will have to take back the control. Talk to your kids. Have conversations about grooming. Get it out in the open. It’s dark and it’s horrible, yes, but it’s real and it needs to be talked about.

  – Check their phones. Get access, passwords, usernames. Sod the tantrums and outrage. You might think it’s intrusive or over-the-top, but the alternative is far worse.

  Keep up to date, because they can change passwords and usernames like socks.

  They will often have more than one account, whether it’s Snapchat, Instagram or YouTube. Don’t be fobbed off. If they are being groomed, they will be devious. 

  Observe them while they are texting. Look for anything unusual. Trust your instincts.

  With Snapchat (or any of the social media sites), check their contacts and don’t be fooled. Groomers will pose as children of both sexes. They will have childish usernames, like Watermelon66, KissKiss, BaeBae, Daisylove.

  Find out who they are. Are these contacts and  friends actually people she knows in real life? Get details. Check stuff out. 

  No teacher will ever accept or send friend requests to pupils. 

  Why is your kid chatting on WhatsApp or sharing pictures on Instagram with a man who works at the local supermarket? Question things.

  If your child is being controlled by pedophiles, you will have to be clever and thorough.

  Here’s an example:

  Lucy asked me this morning if she could go out to the park and meet up with two friends, ‘Elisha’ and ‘Mary’. I said, okay, and we agreed a time she needed to be back and I that checked she had credit on her phone.

  I also immediately logged into her Snapchat account, without her knowledge or permission, and checked her messages. It was clear that she was meeting up with her friends, so that was good. Had she sent messages that didn’t fit with what she had told me, I would have stopped the whole event.

  I’m not interested in snooping or worrying that they may swear or talk about boys, I just need to be sure that she’s not being groomed. Do I feel good about it? No. Will I keep doing it? Yes.

  I know the girls she’s meeting up with, I make sure I know the parent’s numbers and the girl’s numbers.

  When kids are being groomed they will lie, hide things and you will know absolutely nothing about it. 

  You have to get involved, be proactive and strict. 

  If Lucy changes a password, I will know and her phone will be taken away.

  – Don’t make assumptions about pedophiles or grooming. You don’t know what they are like. They are not stereotypes and they are not often strangers. They can be good-looking, affable 19 year-olds that your kids know. They are not all middle-aged men.

  Pedophiles rings have scouts. These scouts are older kids that help them catch fresh meat. That fresh meat is your child. 

  – Your happy and innocent kid can be upstairs, right now, making and posting videos and/or vlogs, on music.ly or YouTube. There’s nothing wrong with that. But, get them to show you. Make it a positive, fun thing. They can be surprisingly enjoyable.

  Just keep an eye on it, because pedophiles will scrutinize these videos for both masturbatory pleasure and to see if there are jumpers, shirts or blazers with school logos on. If they get a school, they get a location. If they get a location, they can scout, hook and take. They want personal information.

  Can you see any geographical landmarks in the background, through the window? Are there books on their desks with their names on? 

  Lucy knew M. He hung around the skate park. That’s why she trusted him. Lucy knew about staying away from strangers, she knew not to accept friend requests from people she didn’t know. M was a face she was vaguely familiar with. He was just around. He waited in the shadows until she was the right age for him.

  You see, they have preferences. Blonde, blue-eyed, 8 year-old girls. 11 year-old Black or Asian girls. 5 year-old boys. 

  My little girl was fresh meat.

  – This may be obvious, but co-operate with the police. If you don’t, it makes it so much easier for the pedophiles. Trust me, a case can completely collapse because a family won’t co-operate.

  The police are not interested in your lifestyle or your past. They don’t care if you smoke a bit of weed or if your house is messy. They just want to stop pedophiles.

  – Do you know how to make sure Snap Map is set to Ghost Mode? 

  I didn’t even know that it shared the exact location of your child. 

  I’ve had to become tech-savvy, quickly.

  Now, I know how to set all Lucy’s apps so only her friends can see what she posts. 

  I link Lucy’s iTunes account and her phone to mine, so I can see all her contacts and every email she sends or receives.

  I’ve been online and researched it.

  If Lucy wants to download an app to her phone, she has to request authorization from me. I have to key in a code that she doesn’t know.

  None of this is 100% fool-proof, but it’s better. Kids need, want and like boundaries and conditions.

  I recently read the transcript of a police interview that Lucy had. One small exchange jumped out:

  Police: “Do you like living with your Dad?”

  Lucy: “Yeah. He looks after me and cares about me. He is strict and doesn’t just let me do whatever I want.”

  Police: “How does that make you feel?”

  Lucy: “Safe.”

  I still feel guilty. Every day. I wish I could go back and change it.

  I should have been more aware of the risks of phones and X-boxes. I shouldn’t have let her have a Facebook profile. I thought it was ok. I was busy or tired. I wanted her to have what her friends had. I wanted her to amuse herself while I did my own thing. I wanted to be a cool Dad or have an easy life.

  I cannot change any of it. I can only deal with today.

   

  HOPE

  On 3rd April 2017, a new law came into effect that makes grooming a criminal offence. The official terminology is ‘sexual communication with a child’. That is fantastic news. It carries a two year custodial sentence. It was too late for Lucy, but it is a major step forward. 

  Yesterday, I attended another meeting with Lucy’s social worker and school counsellor. It was very positive.

  Lucy is doing much better at school. She hasn’t cut herself for a long time and the scars are now feint.

  She goes on sleepovers again and has an iPhone – with conditions and with the knowledge and permission of her social worker. 

  Her social worker still visits once a week, but she is cautiously happy with Lucy’s progress. She might even be taken off the Child Protection Register in September – if they are happy that ‘M’ and his gang are not continuing to groom her.

  Police, social services, schools, and a lot of local people know who M is and he is watched like a hawk. There are other girls, other families, that are going through this.

  I know that, for him, it’s an obsession and he will not stop until he is prosecuted and locked away. 

  I have made it as difficult as possible for M to get to my daughter, but, sadly, there are still problems.

  This afternoon, two of the men whose names are on the list that police gave me, were waiting at Lucy’s school bus stop. 

  I got held up and was running late.

  They followed her into the nearby supermarket. She told a member of staff that she was afraid and they looked after her until I arrived.

  I’ve spoken to the police, and they will try and have a squad car at the bus stop tomorrow. 

  Of course, following a child into a shop, isn’t against the law. Nor is standing at a school bus stop and staring at a child. Nor is whispering obscenities or spitting in her general direction in the street.

  It’s just scary as hell for a 12 year old girl.

  Lucy is sat on the floor in front of me now, happy and singing, doing her homework.

  Every day that she is free of ‘M’ is a victory.

  I hug her a lot, tell her I love her and try to make life as normal as possible. I make sure that I’m there for her. Actions speak so much louder than words.

  I’m her Dad, and I want to protect her. I don’t let her see me cry and I don’t let her see that I’m scared. 

  
  

  I have no idea what the future holds, but, for today, Dad is winning.”

   

  • Comments: 4   |  
  • Views: 273

• ♥ ★ ☆ ☮ KNOW THAT I WAS FIRST TO SAY "I LOVE YOU BABE" ☮ ☆ ★ ♥2017-07-24

  

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  But every time I get ahead of myself, every time I get ahead of my

  
  

  I get ahead of myself, yeah babe

  I get ahead of myself, yeah babe

  
  

  Know that I was first to say, "I love you, babe"

  Moved my things to your apartment down on second street

  I thought I'd cleaned the slate

  But I guess I didn't clean it all away

  
  

  Thought I was ready, ready for someone else

  But every time I get ahead of myself, every time I get ahead of myself

  Thought I was rock steady, that I didn't need no help

  But every time I get ahead of myself, every time I get ahead of my

  
  

  I get ahead of myself, yeah babe

  I get ahead of myself, yeah baby

  I get ahead of myself, yeah babe

  I get ahead of myself, yeah babe, yeah babe

  I get ahead of myself

  I get ahead of myself

  
  

  Thought I was ready, ready for someone else

  But every time I get ahead of myself, every time I get ahead of myself

  Thought I was rock steady, that I didn't need no help

  But every time I get ahead of myself, every time I get ahead of my

  
  

  I get ahead of myself, yeah babe

  I get ahead of myself, yeah baby

  I get ahead of myself, yeah babe

  I get ahead of myself, yeah babe, yeah babe

  I get ahead of myself

  I get ahead of myself

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  

  • Comments: 0   |  
  • Views: 456

• This site2017-07-23

  

  Max6969

  This site is nothing other than a scamming ripoff scam site.

  • Comments: 0   |  
  • Views: 9

• The Bagpiper...2017-07-22

  

  Patricia@ya679

  As a bagpiper, I play many gigs Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country.

   

  As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

   

  I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

   

  There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

   

  I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

   

  The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.  I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

   

  And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.

   

  As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

   

  Apparently, I'm still lost … it's a man thing.

   

  • Comments: 3   |  
  • Views: 158

• Being a Parent2017-07-20

  

  GritsnGrace101

  There is no book on this earth that can prepare you for being a parent.

  Love, understanding and patience, lots of patience, are just a few of the tools you will need when you become a parent.

  If you are not capable of love, then you do not need to become a parent. People who are so wrapped up in themselves, should not become parents until they learn to love someone other than themselves. Learn to give their all for their child. Because being a parent sometimes means you have to put your wants on the back burner to take care of the needs of this precious gift God has chosen to give to you.

  Understanding when to help and when to let go.  As parents we all want what is best for our children. We want them to have a better life than we did. We want to detour them from making the same mistakes we made. We want them to succeed in life.

  As parents we must have the patience to let them stumble and fall. This is probably the hardest one for me as a parent. I want to fix the problem for them and it is so hard sometimes to let them learn on their own.

  As a Mother I feel a special bond with my children and sometimes I feel I can understand them better than their Father can.  As a Mother I ran interference between them and their Father when times were rough and the understanding on their Father's part wasn't so easy. I don't always understand why they do the things they do. As a parent we can only do so much for them and then we have to let go and let them walk the path they have chosen to walk.  It still doesn't stop us from giving advice or sharing our opinions on matters of life, love or work.

  I'm struggling tonight as a parent, still running interference, still putting on that band aide, kissing the boo boos and trying to "fix" the problems. Yet I know I have to let go, take a back seat and pray that my children learn to love one another, control their anger during those rough spots and that they let God guide them on their life journey.

  
  

  
  

  • Comments: 6   |  
  • Views: 193

• HELLO MY NAME IS.......2017-07-20

  

  ҉ ÐRAGÕNFÏŔΕ ҉

  "Refrain From Anger, And Turn From Wrath! Do Not Fret...

   It Leads Only To Evil... For Those Who Are Evil Will Be Destroyed.

   But Those Who Hope In the Lord Will Inherit The Land"  (Psalm 37:3-9)

  • Comments: 0   |  
  • Views: 181

• RIP CHESTER2017-07-20

  

  *Rigs*

  Always bringing you the very best 

       New Rock Music Videos 

  available to you, right here, right now on your 

  favorite game site, Game Desire.

  
  

  This song is from Linkin Park

  is called "Talking To Myself"    

  
  

   and is a song I love and so will you.

  and was released July 20th, 2017

  That's just ...TODAY!!!!!!!... AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  ARE YOU FCKN' Kidding me???

  
  

  How FRESH is that? lololololol

  My SHIT is ALWAYS so, so, so Fresh!   

  
  

  This song is the DOPIEST DOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     

  
  

  
  

  As promised, New Rock Music Videos, 

  signed, sealed & delivered.

  
  

  Studio Version...

   Live Version...

  
  

  Tell me what I gotta do

  There's no getting through to you

  The lights are on but nobody's home (nobody's home)

  You say I can't understand

  But you're not giving me a chance

  When you leave me, where do you go? (Where do you go?)

  
  

  All the walls that you keep building

  All this time that I spent chasing

  All the ways that I keep losing you

  
  

  The truth is, you turn into someone else

  You keep running like the sky is falling

  I can whisper, I can yell

  But I know, yeah I know, yeah I know

  I'm just talking to myself

  Talking to myself

  Talking to myself

  But I know, yeah I know, yeah I know

  I'm just talking to myself

  
  

  I admit I made mistakes

  But yours might cost you everything

  Can't you hear me calling you home?

  
  

  All the walls that you keep building

  All this time that I spent chasing

  All the ways that I keep losing you

  
  

  The truth is, you turn into someone else

  You keep running like the sky is falling

  I can whisper, I can yell

  But I know, yeah I know, yeah I know

  I'm just talking to myself

  Talking to myself

  Talking to myself

  But I know, yeah I know, yeah I know

  I'm just talking to myself

  
  

  All the walls that you keep building

  All this time that I spent chasing

  All the ways that I keep losing you

  
  

  The truth is, you turn into someone else

  You keep running like the sky is falling

  I can whisper, I can yell

  But I know, yeah I know, yeah I know

  I'm just talking to myself

  Talking to myself

  Talking to myself

  But I know, yeah I know, yeah I know

  I'm talking to myself

  
  

  RIP Chester

  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  • Comments: 13   |  
  • Views: 767

• SELF-CENTERED2017-07-17

  

  jane_and.the_dragon

       Have you ever noticed how self-centered the world is these days?   It seems everyone is only cares about what they want and the hell with anyone else.   I will admit even I have those moments.   When I do I usually write a blog.   Today is one of those days.   I have 2 net friends that I love very much.   Problem is when they get together they revert to 2  spoiled 5 year olds  throwing sand on each other on a playground.   I have tried my best to get them to get along and it is not working.  .   What is really upsetting to me is neither of them seem to notice what this constant arguing is doing to me.   I am sure there are those of you that would say I should find new friends, but it is not that easy for me to just give up on people I love even when they are being jerks.   I feel like they could care less if they work my anxiety up as long as they can hit each other with mud made from words.
      I have been very upset lately some cause of things in my real world some cause of things on the net some cause of my own short comings, but no matter what the cause this summer has not been a good one even though we have had many sunny days.   I should get out and enjoy them but i am scared of having a panic attack.   Lately tv and the net have been my world.   I have been worried about a friend of mine who has diabetes and it is not stable.   I just wish my friends could see what the way they act is doing to me and actually care. 
        I have a friend in my real world that cares, but she has been really busy lately and I would never try to take time away from her family.   Family is important spend as much time with them as you can while you can.    Yea I know this blog kinda jumps around, but that is what my thoughts are doing tonight sorry.
  

  • Comments: 2   |  
  • Views: 289

• ♥ ★ ☆ ☮ THE AMERICAN DREAM ☮ ☆ ★ ♥2017-07-17

  

  *Rigs*

  Always bringing you the very best 

       New Rock Music Videos 

  available to you, right here, right now on your 

  favorite game site, Game Desire.

  
  

  This song is from Papa Roach

  is called "American Dreams"    

  
  

   and is a song I love and so will you.

  and was released April 28th, 2017

  That's just ...MONTHS!!!!!!!... AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  ARE YOU FCKN' Kidding me???

  
  

  How FRESH is that? lololololol

  My SHIT is ALWAYS so, so, so Fresh!   

  
  

  This song is the DOPIEST DOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     

  
  

  
  

  As promised, New Rock Music Videos, 

  signed, sealed & delivered.

  
  

  Lyric Video...

  
  

  Studio Version...

  
  

  .It feels like, American Dreams caught on fire

  We're tearing down the white picket fences

  A soldier bleeds, and a soldier dies

  Have you ever thought that war was a sickness?

  I'm a son of it, fucked up from it,

  Casualty of my family 'cause of it

  We dare to dream, or live to die

  Reunited by the truth at the right time

  
  

  Something's wrong here

  Or so it seems

  Cause I'm not sleeping in

  American Dreams,

  American lies

  We're trying to see through the smoke in our eyes

  So give me the truth

  Don't tell me your lies

  Cause it's harder to breathe

  When you're buried alive

  By American Dreams

  
  

  With every bullet hole, there's a blood stain

  Another family that's struggling to keep sane

  Cause their neighborhood, ain't a safe place

  Got us all wearing black every Sunday

  And I'm growing numb to the violence

  Sing along to the sounds of the sirens

  We're trying to keep ourselves alive

  But it's hard to get by when it feels like

  
  

  Something's wrong here

  Or so it seems

  Cause I'm not sleeping in

  American Dreams,

  American lies

  We're trying to see through the smoke in our eyes

  So give me the truth

  Don't tell me your lies

  Cause it's harder to breathe

  When you're buried alive

  By American Dreams

  
  

  Cause I'm not sleeping in

  American Dreams,

  American lies

  We're trying to see through the smoke in our eyes

  So give me the truth

  Don't tell me your lies

  Cause it's harder to breathe

  When you're buried alive

  By American Dreams

  By American Dreams

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  • Comments: 0   |  
  • Views: 446

• The Wife From Hell2017-07-16

  

  NAPOLEON BONERPARTE

  

   

  A Husband and wife had been arguing, when the husband , did not realize he was driving a bit to fast, was pulled over by a police officer for speeding 

  The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' 

  The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.' 

  Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.' 

  As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?' 

  The wife smiles demurely and says,'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.' 

  As the officer makes out a second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit fitted in the car he had just pulled over, the man glowers

  at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Dammit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?' 

   

  The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.' 

  The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.' 

  The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving..' 

  And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??' 

  The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?' 

  I love this part……….. : 

  'Only when he's been drinking'

  • Comments: 6   |  
  • Views: 353

• Could I Have This Kiss Forever2017-07-16

  

  GIRL L-A

  • Comments: 0   |  
  • Views: 315

• problem...2017-07-16

  

  janiceb1145

  Canasta table too large for my screen ,how do I make it smaller? please help
  Thank you
  
  

  • Comments: 3   |  
  • Views: 391

• RIP Carl aka idiot_at_home2017-07-15

  

  GritsnGrace101

  

  • Comments: 3   |  
  • Views: 60

• IS THIS THE BEGINNING OF THE REAL LIFE PLANET OF THE APES?2017-07-15

  

  jane_and.the_dragon

       I am all for protecting animals from abuse.   Thing is a friend of mine sent was telling me this story and I just had to share it, because I think this is the ultimate proof of the court system gone stupid.  Have a read and then I will share some of my thoughts on it.   I will even pretend I think it is a serious news article.   Here is the link to the story.  http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/ct-monkey-selfie-lawsuit-20170713-story.html  
       Now lets pretend for a moment I actually think the monkey could actually own a copy write.   Here are the problems with this case.   First the organization that is tying up the courts and casting all this money over this ludicrous idea  are NOT the owners of the animal in question and by chain of events are not its legal guardian either.   Having no legal guardianship over this animal should automatically throw any case filed by them out of the court on the grounds they had no legal right to file the case in the first place because they are not the monkeys care  takers or owners or guardians.   BUT LET'S PRETEND FOR ONE SECOND THAT ANY INTELLIGENT HUMAN BEING BELIEVES THEIR CASE.   That the animal was the owner of the copy wright  to the picture.   Sense the camera did  not belong to the monkey in the first place, and he took it without the permission of the rightful owner, should the monkey in question not be made to pay damages to the owner of the camera for damage to the camera  because he used space on it he had no permission to use.   And by proxy should not this organization (which is so gun ho to sew the rightful owner of the camera on the monkeys behalf) also be held accountable for the monkey breaking the law in steeling the camera and damaging the card by putting a picture the owner did not take on it.  
       Hey PETA look at this realistically  YOU CAN NOT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS!!!!   If you want to give a monkey the right to own the copy write to a picture he took with a camera  it sold then you must also hold the animal accountable for the crime of steeling the camera in the first place.  Also if you feel you have the right to sew on the behalf of the thieving a monkey then you should most assuredly be held accountable for the damages that theft cost to the owner of the camera.   I am not just talking to the camera and the memory card itself by the monkey putting a picture on it the owner did not take, but also the the camera owners finances because of these nuisance law suits you have filed on a case you know full well is frivolous and unsupported.
       So you tell me are we living on the planet of the apes when a monkey can steel a humans property, use it, then sew the victim of the theft for copywriter infringement?    I REALLY THINK THE MONEY THEY USED ON THIS CREDULOUS CASE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER SPENT HELPING ANIMALS THAT WERE IN REAL DANGER FROM ACTUAL ABUSE.
       Should they win this case it could set up some really bad problems for the security industry.    Has it ever occurred to anyone that if this case is won by the plaintive  it would set a president where every criminal caught on film by a motion censer camera would there by become the owner of that picture and as the owner could bar the picture from being used in the trial for the robbery they commit?
  

  • Comments: 0   |  
  • Views: 317

• Elephants and Women2017-07-14

  

  GritsnGrace101

  When a female elephant is giving birth, all the other female elephants in the herd back around her in formation. They close ranks so that the delivering female cannot even be seen in the middle.  They stomp and kick up dirt and soil to throw attackers off the scent and basically act like a pack of badasses. They surround the female and incoming baby in protection, sending a clear signal to predators that if they want to attack their friend while she is vulnerable, they'll have to get through 40 tons of female aggression first.  When the baby elephant is delivered, the sister elephants do two things; they kick sand or dirt over the newborn to protect its fragile skin from the sun, and then they all start trumpeting, a female celebration of new life, of sisterhood, of something beautiful being born in a harsh, wild world despite enemies, attackers, predators and odds.

  
  Scientists tell us that the elephants normally take this formation in only two cases; under attack by predators like lions, or during the birth of a new elephant.
  

  
  

  This is what we as women do.  When our sisters are vulnerable, when they are giving birth to new life, new ideas, new ministries, new spaces, when they are under attack, when they need their fellow sisters to surround them so they can create, deliver, heal, recover..we females get in formation.  We close ranks and literally have each other's backs. You want to mess with our fellow sisters?  Come through us first!

  
  

  
  

  • Comments: 5   |  
  • Views: 450

• Fable Of The Porcupine.2017-07-13

  

  NAPOLEON BONERPARTE

  

   

  Fable of the Porcupine

   

  It was the coldest winter ever.  Many animals died because of the cold.

  The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and Protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.

  After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their Companions or disappear from the Earth.

  Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close Relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

  The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.

   

  The moral of the story is:

  

   

   

  Just learn to live with the Pricks in your life!

   

  
  

  • Comments: 4   |  
  • Views: 331

• ACT IN HASTE2017-07-13

  

  jane_and.the_dragon

       Have you ever heard the expression act in haste repent in leisure?   All too often people will do things when they are excited or mad without really thinking them through only to find out later they have made a big mistake.   By the time they have really thought their actions through it may be too late to change it or fix the damage it caused.   I find myself in such a case.    A while back I said something to someone when I was angry.   It was not very nice, and to be honest I wanted this person to feel how hurt they had made me.  I really did not expect the reaction I got from them.   Instead of them fighting the problem out with me they cut me out of their life.   I was not expecting that.   I figured we would have a short fight maybe not talk for a couple weeks and then when we both calmed down we would finish talking the problem out and the friendship would go on after we got it all our in the open and cleared the air.   That is how it has always happened with my real friends in the past.  We may argue and sometimes it gets hurtful. but we were always able to put it back together later.   I do not think it is possible to fix something or put it back together if someone shuts you completely out of their live.   Do I wish I had not said what I said? MAYBE, but should not real friends be able to say what they really think to each other and the friendship go on?   I would much rather someone tell me to my face they think I am as know it all, or that I think I am always right, or I am nosy then I would them tell someone else these things about me and me have to hear it from the other person after they have added to it and made it worse then it really was.
       It is possible I lost a friend forever because of something I said in anger and in haste, but sense this person will not talk to me about it I can not rule out that just maybe they were not the great friend I have always told people they were.   Without full info on the situation who is to know where the truth lies?   It hurts seeing this person and not being able to talk to them we used to have so much fun together.   I guess those times met more to me then they did to them, or they would not be willing to throw them away so easily.    Want to hear the ironic thing?  The person I miss will probably never see this, but as with all my blogs I write them for me, to get my emotions out.
  

  • Comments: 1   |  
  • Views: 239

• ♥ ★ ☆ ☮ A-A-AYE, I'M ON VACATION ☮ ☆ ★ ♥2017-07-13

  

  *Rigs*

  Always bringing you the very best 

       New Rock Music Videos 

  available to you, right here, right now on your 

  favorite game site, Game Desire.

  
  

  This song is from Dirty Heads

  is called "Vacation"    

  
  

   and is a song I love and so will you.

  and was released July 13th, 2017

  That's just ...TODAY!!!!!!!... AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  ARE YOU FCKN' Kidding me???

  
  

  How FRESH is that? lololololol

  My SHIT is ALWAYS so, so, so Fresh!   

  
  

  This song is the DOPIEST DOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     

  
  

  
  

  As promised, New Rock Music Videos, 

  signed, sealed & delivered.

  
  

  Studio Version..

  
  

  
  

  .A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

  Every single day cause I love my occupation

  A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

  If you don't like your life, then you should go and change it

  A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

  Every single day cause I love my occupation

  A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

  Every single day, every, every single day

  Every single day, every, every single day

  Every single day, every, every single day-ay

  
  

  Everybody sour like a lemon tree

  I'm just smiling down upon my enemies

  Do this shit, I love it on the daily

  You say you hate your job, but you'll never leave, never leave

  But that ain't gonna be me, that ain't gonna be me

  My brother called me up said he saw me on TV

  I said, "it wasn't easy, but right now I'm living breezy."

  Build this engine from the ground up, now my hands they ain't so greasy, feel me?

  
  

  A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

  Every single day cause I love my occupation

  A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

  Every single day, every, every single day

  Every single day, every, every single day

  Every single day, every, every single day-ay

  
  

  Illuminate my future bright

  So thankful for everything

  Rejuvenate my inner light

  As I work hard for all I need

  Open arms, embracing life

  And all of which you gave me

  Hard work, it pays off

  I'm happy now, it's paying me

  Close my eyes sometimes it feels as if I go away

  I love the life I live and enjoy the ride along the way

  "I make a living out of living," yeah, that's what I say

  I've got one life to live, and I wouldn't live it no other way

  
  

  A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

  Every single day cause I love my occupation

  A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

  Every single day, every, every single day

  Every single day, every, every single day

  Every single day, every, every single day-ay

  
  

  Van Gogh in my earlobe

  I can't hear, I'm here though

  I may be a weirdo, but this is my year, yo

  My life may be crazy

  My lack of the lazy has let me do shit that I love on the daily

  Daily, daily

  Get to do this shit I love upon the daily

  Daily, daily

  Everybody go and live your daydreams up

  
  

  A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

  Every single day cause I love my occupation

  A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

  If you don't like your life, then you should go and change it

  A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

  Every single day cause I love my occupation

  A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

  Every single day, every, every single day

  Every single day, every, every single day

  Every single day, every, every single day-ay

  
  

  

  
  

  

  • Comments: 0   |  
  • Views: 556

• Always Inquire2017-07-13

  

  Brіan

  "Hasty conclusions are the mark of a fool; a wise man doubteth; a fool rageth and is confident; the novice saith, "I am sure that it is so"; the better learned answers, "Peradventure, it may be so; but, I pray thee, inquire."  Jeremy Taylor Just some food for thought this morning. :)

  • Comments: 0   |  
  • Views: 409

• describe your summer in 2 pics ))2017-07-12

  

  EgoPatrol

  

                                                    

  • Comments: 10   |  
  • Views: 476

• I'm missing my baby2017-07-11

  

  GIRL L-A

  

  • Comments: 0   |  
  • Views: 422

Pages: 40