Did you ever wonder why some people hold a grudge? Holding on to their anger like a small child holding onto the last piece of candy. Holding it close to their heart, afraid to let it go. I wonder all the time why people do not just forgive and forget, especially when the person they are mad at apologized. Life is too short to waist it on anger and hate. I will miss the before time but I fear I will soon have no choice but to move on without someone that was very special to me. Will it hurt? Yes , but probably not as much as this constantly being ignored hurts. No amends may be maid when only one person is willing to seek it. A very wise friend of mine from India once told me I should learn to keep those that are a benefit to my life and get rid of those that are not. My problem is once I form a connection to someone it is nearly impossible to break it even when they hurt me I still hold onto the good times that came before. When someone was good and kind and caring to me in the past I find it nearly impossible to let go of that memory. I find myself waiting for that person to come back to me. There is a problem though when the other person for what ever reason no longer wants you in their life for no other reason then you were being yourself.
I find my emotions all over the place lately, because in just a few days it will be the anniversary of my mom's death. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night crying and sometimes looking for my mom it takes a while to realize she is gone. Then in Aug it will be the one year anniversary of my brother's death. I find myself crying for no apparent reason lately. Life is so short it seems a shame to cut ties with people you love that are still alive, but it is like i told a friend of mine years ago love does not work as a one way road it needs to be a two way street for everyone to be happy.
Thank you for letting me ramble. Lately that is all I seem to be able to do.
jane_and.the_dragon
joined:
Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are.
ht
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