Joined: 2014-12-29
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     Have you ever noticed how some parents think if someone does not have children of their own that they have no clue about children, and what is worse no right to have an opinion on the subject of children?   From time to time they will even play the parent card to get other parents involved in a subject that really has nothing to do with them.   This haughty attitude is not only condescending but also a form of predigest.   Most people think predigest must pertain to color or race or religion, but you can be predigest against anyone that is different they yourself. 

     What makes me angry when parents say if you do not have any kids you have no opinion on them.   Just last night in a room I was in someone made the remark ( Should I allow my 19 year old daughter to move in with her boyfriend.? )   It was just a passing question.  To which two of us in the room pointed out 19 years old is legally an adult, so the parents do not get to allow or not allow them to do anything anymore the choices are all the 19 year olds.  From that the subject shifted a little, and I made a remark that parents do not refer to their children like one person referred to some of his children.     It was at that point another girl asked me if I had kids to which I said HELL NO LOL.   What I did not say then is I do not have children by choice.   I got an inherited condition and I chose not to pass it on to another generation.   When I said I did not have kids I was told that since I did not have children I had no way of knowing how a parent would react to a situation.   She was looking down on me like I did not know anything because I chose not to add bad genes to the gene pool.   It was the right decision for me.   However I have been babysitting and mentoring and parent aiding sense I was 13 years old.   Plus I had a really great mom who taught me  much.   One of the things she taught me was how to let the children be their own adults after they reached the age of adulthood.   My mom and dad raised 5 kids and none of us have ever been in jail or on drugs and we all were supporting ourselves right out of high school, so  I would say they did a really good job, and mom taught me much about being a good parent.

     By the standards of some parents today adopted parents do not know anything about children , because they did not have the children themselves.   I know better though!   One of my best friends was adopted and her mom could not have loved her more if she had been her own biological child, so when people give me this you have to be a parent to know anything about kids I call bull.   

     When my one niece was little I understood her better then her own mom.   There was one incident where I had to explain to the mother what was really going on, because she could not tell her child was not telling her what really happened.   I asked my niece what happened she first told me what she thought I wanted to hear the story her mom had just told me.   I took one look at her and knew that was not the truth.   I said to her ok what is the REAL story cause that is not it?   She then told me exactly what had happened and why.   When her mom got back home I told her mom she was wrong about what she thought happened, and I told her the true story.   She asked me how I knew that.   I told her my niece had told me.   I told her first she told me what she thought I wanted to hear and I could tell it was not true.  So I asked her for the real story and she told me.     Now here is the funny part.   My sister-in-law said she should have told me that.   I said did you ask her or just assume you knew what happened.   She was like she should have told me.   I laughed right in her face and asked her what planet she was from.   She was expecting a 7 year old to think like an adult.   I then explained to her kids minds do not work like adults and when she started yelling at my niece she shut down.    She asked me how I knew the first story was a lie.   I was surprised by this.   I told her I could tell by looking at her she was not telling the truth.   I then asked her can't you tell when you own child is lying to you?   I then told her how to tell if her daughter was lying.   Did not take long for her to learn that skill lol.

     Btw if anyone wants to know if someone is lying watch their eyes when they are talking.   One of 2 things will happen either they will not make eye contact with you or their pupils will jump bigger and smaller really fast.   Keep in mind if a child has autism they may not look in your eyes that does not indicate a lie in that child.