jeffv62

 
joined: 2017-06-29
YOU ARE THE SUNSHINE OF MY LIFE. THANK YOU FOR BRIGHTENING MY WORLD, WITH THE WARMTH AND TENDERNESS OF YOUR LOVE.
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Yatzy

Yatzy

Yatzy
1 day ago

Happy Birthday

A wife treats hubby by taking him to a StripClub for his birthday...At The Club, TheDoorman Says, "Hi Jim, How are You?"The wife asks, "How does he know you?Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him."
Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual,Jim?"Jim says to Wife, "Before you say anything,He's on the Darts Team."Next a stripper Says, "Hi Jim! Do You Cravethe Special Again??"
The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her &jumps into a taxi...The Taxi driver Says, "Hey Jimmy Boy! Youpicked up an ugly one this time...."Jim's Funeral is on Sunday!


Sharing is Caring

The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife.
He takes a sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip and then sets the cup down between them. As he begins to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them keep looking over and whispering That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them. As the man begins to eat his fries a young man comes to the table. He politely offers to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man replies that they`re just fine - they`re just used to sharing everything. The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn`t eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink. Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman says No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything. As the old man finishes and was wipes his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again comes over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asks May I ask what is it you are waiting for? The old woman answers... THE TEETH.....


The Best Sandals ever

A married couple was on vacation in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods when they passed this small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You! Foreigners! Come in, come into my humble shop."
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They make you wild at sex."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Jamaican replied, "Just try them on."
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming; "YOU GOT THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!!!"

Its only fair

May be an image of text

Be careful what you ask

May be an image of text that says 'A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!" The husband, typically non- romantic, replied: "I am on the toilet. Please advise."'