joined: 2014-10-26
Next level: 
Points needed: 116
Last game


I feel like Dorothy, right after Toto pulled back the curtain, and reviled the REAL whizard of oz was not great or powerful. He was just a mere mortal with the same flaws as anyone else,and not the GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF OZ. It seems when we put or heros on too high of a platform, it makes a terrible mess when they come crashing off and shatter into pieces. It has become more apparent to me that trust is an illusion, ith lots of smoke, and curtains to cover the real truth behind the curtains. Once the curtain is pulled back and you see the truth, there is no way to unsee it.

Is crying good for you ?

Why You Should Cry - 5 Reasons to Let It All Out

Nobody likes to cry, especially in front of others. Crying often times leaves individuals feeling vulnerable and at times even broken down or weak. However, when it comes to crying there is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, crying offers many different health benefits that may cause some to argue that we should be crying more often.Five Health Benefits of Crying Here are five amazing health benefits of crying.
Crying can improve your moodHave you ever noticed that you generally feel much better after you’ve had a good cry? There’s a reason for that. When we cry we are actually relieving our body of countless toxins and hormones that contribute to elevated stress levels. This in turn can help individuals to sleep better, strengthen their immune systems, and avoid gaining weight. By lowering our stress levels, crying may also help lower our blood pressure.
Crying can improve your vision. How do you feel after a busy day when you haven’t had a chance to drink much water? Chances are you’re pretty thirsty and perhaps a bit dehydrated. Our bodies require water to keep us going and to help us stay hydrated. Our eyes aren’t much different from the rest of our bodies; they too, need water to stay hydrated. When we cry we are really helping to re-hydrate our eyes which can help increase our ability to focus our eyes and improve our overall vision.
Crying can help protect your eyes. Every day we expose ourselves to thousands, if not millions, of particles of dust, dirt, and other debris. These particles are often too small for us to see, however, they can and do make their way into our eyes. This can cause irritation and potentially harm our eyes and in turn, our vision. When we cry, our eyes are actually cleansing themselves which can help to remove these irritants and protect our eyes. In addition, tears contain lysosomes, a powerful anti-bacterial chemical that helps fight infection.
Crying can help clean our noses, too Very few people realize it, but our tear ducts are actually connected to the insides of our nose. This means, when we cry, we get the same benefit of flushing out bacteria and irritants from our noses as we do with our eyes.
Crying can strengthen our relationships with others Yes, crying does make us feel more vulnerable and we often try to avoid crying in front of others at all costs. When we can’t hold it in any longer though, we are often left feeling ashamed or embarrassed. However, crying in front of others shouldn’t be viewed as a bad thing.When we cry in front of others we are inviting them to see a different side of us. They can see our feelings and emotions in a way that no words can portray. This can create a deeper emotional bond between family, friends, and those around us.So, next time you feel your lip begin to quiver and your eyes begin to fill, don’t hold it in! Let it all out and enjoy all of the health benefits those tears have to offer!

I found this interesting. And considering my eye doctor says my vision is great for someone my age I am wondering how much crying has to do with it. I do a lot of crying. My feelings are hurt very easily, and crying it out is much better in my mind then letting all my anger erupt. I can be quite evil when I am hurt or angry. If I have a good cry bu the time I am done crying I do not feel the anger so intensely. Unfortunately sometimes the hurt feelings never fully leave. If this article is correct it is a good thing to have a good cry if you feel you need one.

Still not sure

I still have not gotten that last tee, because I am not sure i want to know anymore. IF the clot is gone ( which i doubt it will be) the plan is to schedule the ablation of that left atrium. The more I think about it the more I worry that If I were to go along with the ablation of the left atrium if the doctor would do something deliberately to necessitate a pace maker. The meds they have me on now and the fact I lost 30 lbs have helped to control the heart issues.I find myself thinking more and more about maybe just folding and learning to live with it.
If I did try for the ablation and it went bad I would never be able to have an even semi normal life. I would be afraid of everything, but if i get the tee and find the clot is still there it stands a pretty good chance of being calcified, and would probably not be going anywhere so all I would need to do is make sure I did not get anymore.
The whole thing is really depressing. When this all started I was told I was a prime candidate for this , and now it looks like all my hopes and dreams of a more normal life were for nothing.
Oh well like I tell people God has a plan for everyone and it may not be what we wished it to be, but it is the way he wants it to be. I firmly believe nothing in this world is random , everything is meant to happen as it does. If I am meant to have a blood clot the rest of my life so be it. I always wanted to live to be 100, but that is not likely. I am not happy about not making it to 100 , but it may not be in the plan. I just wish I had something to leave behind so people years from my death would know I had existed.


     The cardiologist said they will try 1 more tee and if I still have the clot he is giving up trying to do the ablation.  I have pushed the date back twice now for the tee test first because my brother was having an operation.  Second because I really do not want to be around hospitals at this time if I do not have to do it.  Third I really do not trust the doctor as much as I did when this all started, not because he has not cleared the clot, but because he tried to slip a pace maker in on me and I had never agreed to that.  It is kind of hard to trust a doctor who does not listen to you when you make a logical argument against something you do not need, and they try to do it anyhow.  I have seriously been thinking of getting a different doctor if the clot has in fact cleared when I get it checked the last time.  At this point I am thinking it has calcified, and I may be stuck with it forever.
     But the news is not all bad something has been blocking much of my anxiety.  I do not know if it is the meds I am on right now or if it is the meditation exercises I have been working on for months, but something is keeping me calm even when my heart rate rises a bit.  I actually feel better both mentally and physically then I have in years.  I have even lost a little weight.  My family and friends have noticed the weight loss.  It is not much only about 25 to 30 llbs, but it is a start :)   My regular cardiologist said if I lose weight it would help the afib, so here's hoping.

      On an unrelated subject  gandekeogh  I tried to reply to your private messages, but you apparently have incoming messages blocked, but I did get them and thank you.        

Happy Holidays

     I hope, even with all this virus stuff shutting things down again, you will all have a very nice holiday season.   I was really hoping they would have had better control of this by now, but progress takes time.   I just wish people would have listened to the advisory to stay home over Thanksgiving.   And yes I will admit I did not stay home all by myself.   I went to dinner at my nephews house.  I did not stay long and watched how close I got to people.   Although it was not as much fun as it had been last year, at least I was able to spend a little time somewhere other then my home alone which is starting to feel like a prison cell.   Lucky for me no one there had been exposed to the virus yet, and I made it home unexposed.
     The hard part is going to be Christmas alone.   We have canceled our yearly gathering of the clan.  I know we are doing the right thing for the right reason, but those Christmas hugs I would get from all my family would help carry me through to the next gathering.   My stored up hugs are running really low, and this year I do not have a way to replenish them.   If there is any up side to this, I have lost 20 lbs.  Still not sure how, because I am not getting much exercise.   Only thing I can think is I have not been eating much lately , because I was really depressed.
     It is not all bad I went to my one doctor today and the tests came back great.   I do not have to go see them anymore as long as I do not have any symptoms f a problem, so I will be grateful for that.   HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A REALLY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR, or if you do not celebrate Christmas then a joyous what ever holiday you do celebrate to you.   
     Just maybe by this time next year the good lord will have seen fit to help the doctors fix this virus problem.   Maybe I am wishing for too much this Christmas, but I would really love it if God just waved his hand and made this virus disappear from the Earth