The anaversery of my father;s death was Nov 19, 1982. It passed nearly unnoticed. That day came back to mind today when I was sorting some old family photos. I came accross one of my dad, holding a beer can. It was taken by one of my friends a few months before dad died. Her name was Kim, and she liked hanging round my dad, because he reminded her of her grandfather who had died.
The dad dad died I stayed home while they took him to the hospital. I was trying to get hold of my other brother and sister. Back then NO ONE had cell phones, in my family, so it took some calling around to trach my brother down. My sister was not so hard I knew she would be home. It was very early in the morning, and she would have just gotten her husband off to work and the kids off to school.
An hour later my mom and my other brother and sister came back home. I was on the phone with my sister when they came in and mom told me Well your dad passed away today. I said Oh my God, and when my sister asked me what, without thinking I answered her. I said dad died. She said I am coming down and hung up the phone, because she was crying. I only cried a little, because I knew I had to be strong. My mom's family did not believe in crying when someone died, no one on her side of the family cried at funerals it just was not done. So by the time the kids started coming home from school I was more in control of myself.
I told Mom I had to catch Kim as she bot off the bus. I did not want her finding out dad died on the street, she loved him like a grandpa. When the bus pulled in I stepped out and called to Kim. I motioned for her to come closer, and away from the girls she was walking with. They waited on her. It was so hard to tell her he was gone, but the pain I felt when I told her was not for me it was for her. I felt to her it would be like loosing her grandpa all over again. Soon as I told her my dad had passed away she bursed into tears, and her friends who were waitking for her looked concerned at what I said to her to cause the tears. I had all I coud do to keep from crying again myself. I felt so bad for her. I am very emotional , and sometimes my emotins get the better of me. It is funny how just seeing the photo she took brought back this flood of emotions from so long ago. When the doctors said he was not going to wake up after his coma and he did , I took that last month with my dad as a gift. For a man that was born a blue baby, and fought high bloodpressure all his life, and was ony given a year to life when he was examined for the army I am both greatful and impressed that he lived as many years as he did.
That is why I want to go to our family's Christmas gathering. I want to spend time with those I love while they are still with me.